I love you.
The words were on the tip of my tongue when she wet her lips.
Good gracious those lips.
Her hands slipped off my shoulders and down onto my chest as she stared me in the eyes. We were momentarily frozen in each other’s gaze, entranced by the unexplainable bond we shared. We were bound together ever since our french fries rolled onto the floorboard of my truck. That much I knew.
My life hadn’t been the same ever since.
I reached up and cupped her face. Her cheeks were smooth and warm against my hands. I pulled her toward me. Tingles of desire flowed through my veins.
Whenever our lips met, the world felt right. I savored the taste of her and the way her hands slid across my chest. One of Jules’ legs had come over me, and she adjusted to sit in my lap, closing the gaps between us. I was in the recliner seat of the couch, and it must’ve not been latched properly because when she leaned forward to kiss me again, the lever engaged and we snapped back into the reclining position, throwing her on top of me.
Her soft laughter warmed my face as she wiggled around, getting comfortable. “Well, this is convenient.”
And boy, was it. I could feel every blessed inch of her against me.
She wasted no time kissing me deeply. Everything about her—her weight, her scent, her gentle movement—was intoxicating. I tangled my fingers into her silky locks to keep my hands from wandering off to places they shouldn’t.
My brain was clanging like an alarm. It had been a long,longtime since I’d been with a woman. Courtesy of maximum security prison. Gracie was the one and only. If I didn’t stop very soon, pure need would ignite and it would be tomorrow morning before I came up for air. And it wasn’t the right time for that. Not yet.
She softly hummed and murmured my name. The sound of my name on her lips was almost my undoing. I justified kissing her for a couple more seconds, but when her hands moved to tug my shirt free, I knew it was past time.
Moore. Come on man.
“Jules—” I flexed my legs to bring the seat upright and helped her off my lap. I had resolved to be a gentleman. Never take something from another woman that wasn’t officially mine. I’d made the mistake before and didn’t want to make it again. Jules had some insane power over me, and my resolve would become a thing of the past if I didn’t get some fresh air. I couldn’t think straight in here.
“I—I gotta go.”
I stood, and she followed me. I glanced into her eyes—they were confused, searching my face. She was tearing up, probably feeling like she’d done something wrong. Her tousled hair and slightly swollen lips framed her beautiful moist blue eyes. I couldn’t handle that look. I pulled her into a hug and whispered, “Nothing’s wrong, baby.”
Her words were muffled over my shoulder. “Pat, why have you never asked to stay? Is it something about me? Do you not want—”
“Jules, shh.” I shook my head and held her back so I could look at her face. I should’ve communicated my intentions sooner. “Trust me when I say this. It has nothing to do with desire. The temptation to move our kisses to your bedroom is—there aren’t words to describe how appealing that sounds.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“I know.” I suppressed a growl. Last thing I needed was a green light. “I guess I’m old fashioned, but the next time I make love, I want it to be with my wife.”
She nodded as I continued, “That’s the way my dad would’ve done it. Trying to be a little more like him every day. He gave me some pretty good advice I should’ve listened to.” I brushed a strand of hair off her face, and she shivered. I lowered my voice, “In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m not in this for a good time. I want to start my life. Have a family, a home, a good woman beside me. If those things are in my future, I want them in the right order this time.” Her eyes softened. “Do you understand?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“You deserve so much more than a hookup, Jules.” She was hanging onto my every word, studying my face. I hoped she believed what I said. “You deserve love and commitment. I won’t give you anything less.”
Of their own volition, my arms tightened around her waist. I loved her like I had loved no one else. A fleeting vapor of guilt rushed through my brain, and I pushed it away. No point in feeling guilty. I loved Jules and there was nothing wrong with the fact. Gracie was gone, but Jules was my future, a piece of my healing, becoming a piece of the new Patrick. A piece every passing day proved I couldn’t function without.
Her hands glided up the plane of my back, and she tilted her head to look me in the eyes. Her own were wide, expectant, and teary. “Can you kiss me one more time before you go?”
A river of emotions ripped through my chest, and I couldn’t hold it back. With Jules—I never could.
FORTY-ONE
Julia
The admission of his intentions was heady, but terrifying. The two pieces of my heart warred for prominence. How could I fully give my heart to Pat? I wanted to more than anything. But it felt impossible. Did he want tomarryme? I should tell him how scared I am. Tell him everything and hope he runs far away from me. Tell him that I would hurt him. Just like I hurt Cam.
But I didn’t have the strength to run Pat out of my life. So I kissed him. Frantically.
