She placed her hands on my face, looking me straight in the eyes. “Tell me everything.”
I shook my head. Where to start? “Sunny is incredible.”
Jules smiled.
“But, she’s been through a lot. A lot more than I ever would have guessed.”
“Oh no.”
“Yeah, its bad.”
She drew back. Gently picked at my hat hair and planted a kiss on my jaw. “Come sit down. I’ll make you a plate, and we’ll talk.”
We ate in near silence for a few minutes. The provided silence and food helped me process. When I was about halfway finished, the spigot turned on. I told her everything about the meeting. She finished off her plate before me, scooted her chair closer, and put her hand on my thigh. She listened as I talked about all the things Debbie had said.
“It kills me that my daughter has suffered displacement so many times. I want to make it right for her.”
Sharing my fears wasn’t easy. But honesty was better. I’d decided to be done with living in silent fear. So, I told Jules I was worried I wasn’t good enough. I worried the Judge would see everything against me on paper and decide not to grant rights.
At some point in the conversation, Jules had led me to the couch. She sat with her cheek leaned against the back cushion, blue eyes wide, soaking in my every word. Once the stream of words tapered off, my heart swelled. She was a good listener.
I turned to look at her. “Maybe it was a stupid idea. I’m not ready for something like this.”
Understanding dripped off her countenance. Her eyes softened, and her brows furrowed. “I can understand why you might feel that way. This is a really big, really scary thing.”
My voice cracked, “yeah.”
“I have some opinions on it though. Want to hear?”
“Ah, sure.”
“Okay, first of all, about the stable living conditions thing. You have a house, Pat!” Her eyes widened with excitement. “Maybe you need to take it off the market and move there. Like, no offense, I don’t think the whole bachelor pad situation with a thirteen year old girl will convince the court of your commitment to be a parent.”
It was a fair point I hadn’t even thought of. I did have a house. A nice, paid for one.
“Not that I want you to move, but if we are thinking of the future, it’s not a bad option.”
She saidwe.
“Now, for the second thing—” She adjusted closer and curled into my side, bringing her knees to rest against my thigh. She palmed my cheek and forced me to look her in the face. “No one ever feels ready for big change. You’re thrown into it and pray for the best. You hope everything turns out okay, but the only choice you have is to jump in with two feet.”
“You are such a precious man, Pat, and are going to be an amazing dad. If the judges don’t see that, they are crazy.” Her thumbs ran across my cheeks, and her eyes searched mine. “If for some reason you don’t get rights, Sunny will at least know you tried. Know her dad wanted her.”
Suddenly, Shaye’s words from months ago rang out in my mind. “Love is never wasted.”I blinked against the sting of tears. Keeping things in perspective was key. Maybe my love would impact Sunny in some way. That’s what mattered.
Jules lowered her voice. “Jumping in with two feet is the right thing to do. You are the right thing for her—we just got to pray the Judge will see it, too.”
Not sure how Jules knew exactly what I needed to hear. She hit the nail on the head.
“Thank you,” I whispered. Her face was only a few inches from mine.
“We’ll get her. I know we will.”
She kept sayingwe.
Did she know she was saying that? Whether she meant to or not, her words were revealing her heart. She was in this with me.
My chest tightened with emotion.
