He hadn’t. I didn’t know what I was saying. I was just upset. He was offering me the world, and I couldn’t take it!
When I didn’t answer, he shook his head. “We belong together—I’ve thought so all along.”
My tone was accusing. “I know you want me to marry you.”
He paused, his eyes clouded with confusion. “I do.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because the person you really want is Gracie!” My accusation wasn’t fair, but I brought her in anyway. I felt like a cat, licking its wounds and spitting fire at anyone brave enough to come near to try and help. What was wrong with me?
His voice tightened with emotion. “Julia, I wantyou.”
I was choking on my words, trying my best not to burst into tears. “Well, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
He grabbed my hands to prevent me from turning away. “Then tell me.”
“No”—I shook him off—“it’s no use.” I turned back toward the kitchen and nearly ran toward the side door.
“Where are you going?” He was hot on my heels.
“Where I belong.”
He was hurt. His voice was raising. “What are youtalkingabout?”
“Not here. Nashville.”
“Jules, don’t leave like this! You’re not thinking straight.”
The last sentence struck a chord. Anger shot through my heart as Jack and my Dad’s words reverberated in my brain. “How dare you say that to me! I’mperfectlycapable of thinking for myself, thank you very much.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“Sure sounded like it.”
“Please. This is not the way this was supposed to go.” His voice was pleading, shaking. I didn’t turn to look at him. The pain on his face would be more than I could bear.
I fumbled through my purse for my keys. “I got to go, Patrick.”
He reached for me. “Please don’t.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Then stay. Please!”
“I can’t.” I hopped in the car and slammed the door behind me. I pulled out of the driveway into the darkness.
Pat was wrong about me. I did not make a good mother. I did not make a good wife. Had it not been for me, maybe Cameron would have gotten his dream, and I’d be living it with him.
I was a crashing river after a dam break, destined to plough through and utterly obliterate everything in my path. If I loved Pat and Sunny, which I did with every fiber of my being, then I’d stay away and keep them safe from me.
I glanced in the side view mirror, which I instantly regretted. Pat was squatting under the carport, elbows on his knees, hands gripping his hair, head down. I’d just crushed him.
Hadn’t he been crushed enough already?
Oh, what am I doing?
