“We’ll see about that.”
Aimilia reached up and untied her braid, letting her hair loose so she could pick out the debris she accumulated. Nikias’ eyes followed the motion, staying on her hair and lingering too long before he said, “Why did you run away?”
Aimilia held her tongue. She looked over his shoulder. The guards were far enough away they couldn’t hear them, but that wouldn’t remain true if things got heated, and Aimilia couldn’t have this conversation without getting heated.
“You’re not a complete buffoon. I’m sure you can figure it out.”
Nikias took her by the arm and pulled her farther into the woods and away from the guards, keeping his voice low. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself and we won’t.” Aimilia ripped her arm out of his grip.
“What is this about? I know you’re grieving, but do you really think lashing out at me is going to help? Or is this really just about our kiss?”
Aimilia dug her nails into her skin. She couldn’t betray Gavril and Marcella’s confidence; she had plenty of reasons to want to avoid him.
“I hate you.”
“Hmm. Do you?” Nikias raised an eyebrow. “Or do you just hate the fact that you kissed me back and now you can’t pretend you feel nothing for me anymore?”
“The only thing I feel for you right now is revulsion.”
But unlike before when she’d told him she thought he was repulsive and despicable, it didn’t bounce right off his marble façade. She could see the cracks her words caused as he shifted closer.
“Why is it so terrible to you that you might actually care about me?” His fingers brushed her hand, not quite taking it, but the pads of his finger causing her skin to hum. “Why can’t you just accept you wanted to kiss me? How am I the villain here?”
“Because you always are!” Aimilia’s eyes watered as she ripped her hand back. “This is all your fault.”
He narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t kill your grandfather.”
“You gave my post to someone else because you decided you would marry me without even once talking to me about your intentions! Then when I refused, you decided you didn’t care what I want and were determined to force me to be near you to wear me down. So yes, it is your fault I didn’t get to go back to Mitis and see him one last time!” Aimilia curled her hand into his chiton, but she couldn’t even see his face through her tears.
“Aimilia—”
“No! You—Do you even care? Or just not more than you care about getting what you want? And why? What for? I’m not—” Aimilia choked on the words. She didn’t know what she wastrying to say. “You can apologize and grovel, but you can’t go back in the past and change what you’ve done. You can’t bring my grandfather back. You can’t undo—” Aimilia cut herself off before she revealed a secret that wasn’t hers to tell. “I—I hate you, and I hate myself more for kissing you back. It’s a mistake I’ll never make again. But you? How many more lives will you ruin to get your way?”
Nikias’ hands rested on her shoulders. “Of course I care.”
Aimilia wiped at her eyes, unable to stop her watery laugh. “Your words are so empty compared to your actions.”
“I am sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye. I am sorry even inadvertently for being the cause. Since you don’t want to hear it, all I can do is ask for the chance to prove it.”
Aimilia couldn’t help the mangled half-sob, half-laugh that erupted from her chest. “Because you think it’ll make me want to marry you?”
“Have you noticed lately you’re the only one bringing it up?”
Aimilia froze.
Then his arms were around her and her head pressed into his chest as he clutched her to him. “The last thing I care about right now is that. All I care about is the fact that you’re hurting and you won’t let anyone take care of you for once in your life.”
The sobs came flooding out as she collapsed in his arms. It wasn’t true. This all had to be some kind of act, right?
But they hit the forest floor, and he kept her curled up against him as her whole body shook. He held her as she cried into his chest.
She should pull away. She should keep tearing into him, trying to make him bite back and prove her right. She should… She should be doing anything but letting him hold her like she mattered to him as more than a means to an end.
But she didn’t.
As much as she shouldn’t be taking his comfort, it was better than sitting on the floor and sobbing alone.
