I rub her back and pass her a tissue from the table. “I don’t want to go either, but I have to. If I don’t leave soon, you and Ash will be stuck with me forever, and that’s no good for anyone.”
“Who says so? Both of us are about to have babies and we could help each other. We’re not in a hurry to see you go, so why not stay?”
“It’s not fair to Ash.” I look away and blow out a deep breath.
“What are you talking about? He loves having you here.”
“You’re just saying that.” My shoulder pushes against hers.
“No, I’m not. We’re not exactly squeezed in for space. There’s more than enough room. Please, stay a little longer.”
I was so geared up to go, but on reflection, was I being selfish? Maybe Calla needs me as much as I need her. Perhaps, by me staying, she finds it a comfort to have a connection with her brother. But I’ve also got to consider her husband in all of this. Ash has been a saint, but I don’t want to become a burden.
“How about we talk to Ash first?”
“Oh, he’ll be good with it.” She sniffs.
“I’d rather check. This is a special time for you both and I don’t want to get in the way.”
“You won’t, but if it makes you feel better?—”
“It will.” I grin.
After Calla leaves, I attempt to get dressed. Scott would want me to look my best, but I’m struggling with the outfit I chose. It’s certainly figure-hugging as my baby bump grows, but I’ll have to grin and bear it. Scott liked me in this dress. It’s a good job the material is stretchy.
I run my hand over my tiny bump. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so sick. That was my first sign, although it was Scott who realised what was happening.
“I think maybe we should buy a pregnancy test, don’t you?”
Scott was only saying what I’d been thinking, but part of me didn’t want to get over-excited. Again.
“I don’t want to tempt fate, Knoxy. We’ve been down this road so many times now?—”
“But I’ve got a good feeling this time. You’ve been… over-emotional.”
“You mean a moody cow. That’s what you’re really saying, isn’t it?”
He laughed at me. God, I miss that sound. He had the best sense of humour, and his smile would light up an entire room.
I remember the look on his face when the word POSITIVE appeared on the stick. He was so bloody happy. He picked me up, spinning us both in circles, laughing until our stomachs hurt and we cried a little too.
“Angie, come back to me.”
I shake my head and focus on my best friend. “Sorry about that. I was away with the fairies.” I didn’t even hear her come back into the room.
“There’s someone to see you.”
Ash hobbles in on crutches. He’s dressed in a black suit and tie with a white shirt. This is actually happening. We’re saying goodbye to my husband today.
“Hey. How are you doing?” he asks.
“I don’t know, Ash.” I look towards them both as my stomach turns. “Today feels like a step back. Starting again from scratch without him. I don’t think I can go through with it.” Tears spill uncontrollably down my face.
Calla wraps her hand around my shoulder, with Ash holding my hand. “It’s okay,” Calla soothes. “We’re here for you.”
TOMMY
I’d do anything for just a mouthful of whiskey. I thought I could cope, but this is harder than I ever thought possible.
