That fear was the only reason the two of us hadn’t gone further than kissing and snuggling. At least on my end. I didn’t know his excuse, and I suspected it had to do with his wolf not recognizing me.
The grown-up, mature thing would be to have a conversation about this. But how could I? Once I opened that can of worms, they would be everywhere, and there would be no turning backif he decided, “No, you’re right. We might have mates. Let’s not do this.”
So instead, I tried to convince myself just to have a human relationship with him, one where we could kiss and hug and laugh and play, where I could take care of him as he needed and snuggle on the couch with him for a good horror movie. But there were some days, especially when I had long shifts at work, that it was hard to keep up that facade.
“Five minutes,” I called to Ax, who was Zooming with his team.
“Gotta go, the boss says we need to leave. Wish us good news.”
I didn’t know what to do about that, especially since today was the day he was going to a specialist to get approval to return. He wouldn’t be approved to jump back in and play, that would take time, but not to be here anymore, to be with his team, to be practicing, working on his skating, getting used to the schedule again? All of that was great. Him no longer here with me, not so much.
We met at the local arena, thanks to some connections and strings his coach pulled. And because of course there was, a few guys with cameras were out front and we had to sneak in the back. It was ridiculous.
“Are you nervous?” I took his hand.
“Yeah, for a lot of reasons. I used to feel like home when I came on the ice. Used to...”
But before he could answer my question fully, the sports medicine specialist, a cat shifter by scent, called to us. I couldn’t fathom how much they paid him for what amounted to a housecall. “Over here!”
We had a short meeting in the office, and a few times I got some side-eye from the doctor who wasn’t loving the fact that a random nurse was there. I thought that was more out of professional awkwardness than anything personal, and he looked twice at our intertwined fingers.
“I got the report from your last scans, and everything looks really good.” He set his tablet down. “I honestly didn’t think we’d be having this conversation. Your wolf being impacted the way he was had me thinking the worst.”
The guy didn’t mince words.
“So I’m ready to go back, doctor?”
“Yes, but you know how it is with injuries. I know you’re going back, but remember you’re notplayingplaying, just working toward that.”
“I understand.” His hand tightened.
“Why don’t I give you a few more days’ rest, and you can meet up with the team when they have a break in their schedule? That’ll be a good time to ease your way in.”
That didn’t sound like a good idea to me at all. Days off, he should be with me. Except we hadn’t had that talk. In fact, we’d done everything but talk about the important stuff.
After a quick exam, the specialist watched my mate on the ice for a little bit. If I hadn’t known Axel was a hockey player, watching his grace as he flew over the ice, I’d have thought he was a figure skater. It was beautiful.
Axel thanked the doctor, and we went home, but the car ride was eerily silent. It had been the best news possible, yet neither of uswas smiling. As we got out of the car, he pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly.
“Shift with me, please,” he whispered. “I need to meet your fox. Please?”
Why now after all these years? My future would be determined by a single act. I was ready to stick my head in the sand and put my fingers in my ears. Not that I could do both at the same time. Damn, why did everything involve a choice?
“Shift? You and me?”
“Yeah. It’s what we should have done years ago.”
There were no should or coulds, just destiny. This was where my heart would likely be broken and we’d part as friends, never to see one another again.
How would his wolf and my fox react to one another? His beast didn’t recognize me as his mate, so they’d agree that love was only for humans and wish each other well.
But I’d been putting it off for years and it was time.
I agreed knowing it was going to be my band-aid moment.
We went out back and shed our clothes. First, he shifted. His beautiful wolf stood there on all fours, looking up at me tentatively.
“I’m coming,” I said, and fell back, letting my fox take over. Before my paws even hit the ground, my fox shouted at me.
