Stan strode over to the sofa and gently lifted my legs and sat, placing them on his lap. My heart was pounding so loudly, I glanced outside, thinking someone was jackhammering.
“I thought about you a lot too.” He told me about intending to come to the game and how he’d watched others in the past.
“There’s never been anyone else, Stan.”
He didn’t say anything, and my wolf stared, though he was silent too. Stan chewed a nail, a habit I recognized. He was nervous.
“The thing about sticking your tongue down my throat, did you mean that?”
“Yeah.”
“Not sure I’m ready for that, but maybe something not as aggressive.” He leaned toward me and put a hand behind my head. His lips met mine, and I closed my eyes. I’d dreamed of this moment, but my imagination wasn’t as good as reality.
I brushed my tongue over his lips, and he moaned. The vibrations made my lips tingle and goosebumps dance over my skin. I so wanted to part his lips, but he’d laid down the ground rules and I had to respect that.
The kiss was tentative, almost a promise, and I pulled away, my eyes looking for a sign of rejection.
“That was nice.” He put a finger to his lips, and I imagined him imprinting the memory.
Stan didn’t move away or ask to kiss again, and my mind whirred over what was going through his head.
“This is a huge decision, and it’s not one I can make today.” He took my hand, flipped it over, and traced over my palm. “I need time to think.”
There it was. While he didn’t say it out loud, he wasn’t sure if I was his one and only. Maybe he liked me, maybe it was more than that, but I was certain he was holding out for his true mate.
“Of course.” But I wanted to scream, “No. Please say yes, say you want me as I desire you.”
6
STAN
Having Axel in my home was a dream come true, and I hated feeling that way. Being happy that he was hurt because it meant we got to see each other again was shitty at best. That was an oversimplification of my emotions; obviously I wasn’thappyhe’d been injured. How could I be… but also, it was how he came to be here, and that part meant so much to me.
Gah. Why was this so complicated? If only his wolf scented me as his, but he couldn’t have or we wouldn’t be in this situation. He’d have called me his and our lives would’ve been so very different. Sometimes I wished I was human so falling in love could be enough.
Axel had been healing really well. I’d been nervous, especially with his wolf impacted by the initial concussion. I’d never seen an injury like that before, and even after contacting a healer I knew, I had no real plan other than to do what we’d already been doing. I made sure he had the nutrition he needed, gave him more therapy sessions since the physical therapist was human and wanted him to take more rest days than a shifter wouldrequire, and watched for signs his wolf needed more than we were giving.
I’d taken him in for imaging, and if that went well and the team doctor agreed, he’d be back on the ice soon.
His coach didn’t know how quickly he was healing. We gave him regular updates and decided to be vague with his teammates and media. It wasn’t something we could really share with his human team. His healing might’ve been slower than a wolf’s, but it was still very quick for a human.
Axel was able to use his hand without his splint now and had since less than a week after the accident. But when he had to go to follow-ups, on it went. I knew Axel hated not rushing back to playing.
If it had been me who was hurt, the hospital would’ve thought thank gods, he’s back. What a great recovery. But with Axel, it wasn’t only his team he had to worry about being suspicious. It was all of his fans, the reporters, and the bet makers. Axel had to let this play out despite his desire to hit the ice.
We got the news we’d been waiting for at his last appointment with the orthopedist—he was cleared for splint-free living as long as he promised not to overdo it. The doctor was unsurprisingly pleased at our patient’s progress, but felt confident he’d make a full recovery. That wasn’t something Axel had heard from anyone, including me, up until then and you could see him visibly relax at the doctor’s words.
Unlike the doctor, my worry had been less about his physical body after the first few days had passed and more about his wolf.
Things were going really well between us, so well that Ialmostallowed myself to be fooled into thinking that maybe we couldbe together for real, forever. Aside from doing things to help his recovery, we fell into our old patterns back in school. We watched movies together, played far too many video games, and ate our weight in pizza. It was nice being together like this and just being us.
Unlike when we were in college, Axel was more vocal about his feelings. He told me he’d missed me, along with all the things he wanted to do with me and to me, but not once had he said that he scented me as his mate. And without that, did the rest really matter?
“I love kissing you,” and “Being in your arms is everything” is great and all, but what I longed to hear was, “Mine.”
Love was important, so was getting along. But being with someone who fate didn’t send your way could be snapped apart with one scent. It was terrifying. At least for me it was, especially now when I realized how deeply in love with him I was.
What if I did say screw it and choose Axel? What if I allowed myself to believe with my whole heart that we were always and forever? And then one year, two years, five years later, someone walked by, he scented them, and realized I wasn’t really meant to be his? I’d be crushed beyond repair.
