‘Yeah. Fuck,’ I agree.
There’s a moment’s pause before he says, ‘So how are you feeling now?’
‘Completely fucked,’ I answer.
‘In a good way, I hope?’
My answering smile is wide. ‘In a very good way. I’ve not come like that in a really long time.’
‘Not since I last did that to you, by any chance?’
‘Yeah. I think so.’
He grins back, then reaches over and pulls me against his hard body, enfolding me in his arms and kissing me gently, but decisively, on the lips.
‘Excellent,’ he murmurs against my mouth.
* * *
Kit
Fuckingyes!
That’swhat I’m talking about.
8
CHLOE
I’m sleepy. So sleepy.
It’s ridiculously comfortable here in Kit’s bed, snuggled up against his solid, warm body, with my back now pressed to his front and his arms wrapped around me.
After getting into his bed, he made me come another couple of times and now I’m finding it very hard to summon the energy to leave it.
I might just stay for a little bit longer and doze, then get up and head back to my own room, since this is a sex-only arrangement. I want to be up early anyway, ready to catch the dawn at the bamboo forest.
But it’s going to be hard to tear myself away.
It’s so comforting to be held like this – so closely and covetously.
I feel reallywantedright now.
Which is a relief after feeling like I might never be wanted again – at least not in the way Adrian used to want me.
My self-confidence has taken a huge knock from his rejection and I’m not sure I’ll ever fully recover from it. How will I be able to trust a partner again? Because everything I thought I knew and believed and would have staked my life on being real and true all turned out to be a resounding lie.
Out of nowhere, a dreadful sense that I’m about to cry surges up from my chest and I tense my body, fighting it back.
No, no, no! I don’t want to let this get a hold of me right now. Not when I’ve just had such a fun time with Kit and I’m feeling good about what happened with him.
I guess I’ve been forcing down the mixture of grief and creeping humiliation for so long it’s starting to push back – and win. It’s been lurking there the whole time, poised and waiting to ruin my time here.
But I’mnotgoing to let it.
Every muscle in my body is tense from trying to get on top of this battering-of-sadness, and this seems to disturb Kit because he starts to move behind me, pulling me closer against his body. I feel his breath on my neck, then the soft press of his lips on my skin, right over my pulse point, and despite the angst rushing through me it makes me shiver with pleasure.
‘You’re not actually a vampire who’s going to try and suck my blood now are you? Right when I’m at my most vulnerable,’ I joke in an attempt to get a handle on my raging emotions. I really don’t want to fall apart in front of him. This thing with him is supposed to be a diversion and a bit of levity for us both, not a foray into our deepest darkest fears.
