He shoved his hand roughly through his hair. ‘This wasn’t part of the deal, Soli,’ he bit out, his voice icy cold and the expression in his eyes so hard it made her shiver.
A feeling of pure dread flooded through her body.
‘I take it you want to keep the baby?’ he asked.
‘Of course I do,’ she gasped, horrified that he’d even think for one second that she’d consider not doing so. ‘But if you don’t want to be involved, I’ll find a way to look after it on my own,’ she shot back angrily, wounded by his harsh reaction.
‘The hell you will,’ he snapped.
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It means there’s no way I’m going to abandon my child. Or its mother.’
‘But you’ve been so sure about not wanting to stay married after the year’s up,’ she pointed out, unable to keep the hurt out of her voice.
He just shrugged. ‘We’ll work something out. I can speak to Russell and get him to make some amendments to the contract,’ he said, his stiff practicality sending little shocks of dismay through her.
‘You want us to continue having a contract?’ she said, appalled by the thought of it. Had it really come to this? Was he going to keep treating her – and now their child – like a commodity? Just as his parents had done to him?
‘Isn’t that what every mother wants?’ he said coolly. ‘To know that she and her child will never have money troubles again?’
His dispassion shocked her. She’d seen him flip into business mode before, but this was a step way beyond that.
‘No! That’s not what I want! I want a partner who loves me. Who wants to be with me for me. Not because he feels he has to because we have a child together.’ She wrapped her arms around her body, aware that she was shaking now. ‘We’ll only end up resenting each other. It’ll be hell living in the same house and I can’t let my child grow up in that sort of toxic environment. I can’t spend the rest of my life with you if you don’t love me back, Xavier. Because I love you!’
He wasn’t looking at her now, but down at the floor instead, with a muscle flicking in his jaw.
‘Do you love me?’ she whispered brokenly, her heart thumping painfully in her throat.
He didn’t answer her right away, but even before he opened his mouth to speak, she could tell what he was going to say from the tension in his body language.
‘I’m not sure I’m capable of loving anyone any more.’
The expression in his eyes was as hard as marble when he finally looked at her.
Grief squeezed her chest, stealing her breath away.
‘If you can’t love me, I can’t stay here with you any longer,’ she said, her voice barely making it past her lips. ‘I’ll make sure this child has all the love it needs and a happy life, but I’ll do it without you and your money.’
She went to sweep past him, but he put out a hand to stop her. ‘Soli, don’t be ridiculous?—’
Her whole body was suddenly hot now. Burning with anger. ‘Don’t call me ridiculous! I’m sick of hearing that from you. I know you think I’m just some naïve idiot with money problems, but know this: I’m capable of being happier than you’ll ever be, because I let people into my heart and treat them with genuine respect – like an equal. If you can’t get past that block you have, if you’re not willing to, then there’s no hope for you, Xavier McQueen. No matter how many houses you own or how much money you have, you’ll never be happy if you can’t learn to let go and fall in love again, to trust and share your life with someone else. With me!’ Her voice broke on the last word, but she fought back the tears, determined not to cry.
Letting out a loud, painful-sounding sigh, he sat down on the edge of the hall table and looked up at her with such cold resentment she felt a shiver run down her spine.
‘Where do we go from here?’ she whispered, panic rising in her chest.
He frowned and shook his head. ‘I don’t know, Soli. I just don’t know. I don’t think I can give you what you want.’
She saw his throat move as he swallowed but his gaze remained implacable.
After what felt like a lifetime of silence, where it became plain he wasn’t going to tell her what she needed to hear, she realised the only thing she could do now was get out of there, just so she could calm down and think straight again. She needed to figure out what the hell she was going to do without him.
‘Okay. Well, it’s clear how you really feel about me.’ She coughed to ease the painful tension in her throat. ‘So I’m going to go home,’ she said shakily, willing herself to hold it together, just for a few more minutes.
He didn’t say anything as she turned and walked away. He didn’t follow her up to the room they’d shared so happily for the last few weeks, and he wasn’t at the front door when she let herself out with a small bag she’d packed.
In short, he made it crystal-clear that he wasn’t going to stop her from leaving.
