‘Look, I get that you don’t want to have a physical relationship with me, but I’d really prefer it if you at least acknowledged my presence in the house. We can be friends, surely?’
The muscle in his jaw was working overtime. ‘It’s not that I don’t want a physical relationship with you,’ he ground out, taking a step towards her, his shoulders rigid and his eyes flashing with frustration, ‘it’s that I do.’
‘You do?’ she whispered, shocked by the passion in his voice and the intensity in his eyes.
‘Yes,’ he said, letting out a low, frustrated-sounding breath.
‘Oh. Okay. I see.’
‘And seeing you every day but not being able to touch you, when I know how good we can be together, is driving me insane.’ His chest rose and fell in rapid movements as if he was fighting for control and barely keeping it together.
The idea that she was doing that to him thrilled her to her core. Without thinking, she took a step closer to him, unable to fight the instinct to push him a little bit further to see what he’d do.
They stared into each other’s eyes, their breath coming fast and their bodies tense.
Xavier made the first move, closing the gap between them and sliding his hand into her hair, then pulling her towards him so her mouth met his. The kiss was rough and full of the longing they’d both been battling since the last time they’d given in to the need to touch each other.
He let out a low growl in the base of his throat as she wound her arms around him and pressed herself closer to him, feeling exactly how much he wanted her right then.
She pulled back from the kiss to look him in the eyes again, wanting to make sure they were both thinking the same way before this went any further, so they didn’t end up in an even more awkward position later.
‘I thought you said?—’
‘I know what I said, but I decided not to listen to myself for once,’ he ground out, his brow pinched in a half-relieved, half-frustrated sort of frown. His eyes were alive with pleasure though, which her body responded to by sending a throb of pure desire through her.
She couldn’t help but grin at him. ‘Good decision. Let’s be wild. It’s a healthy life choice.’
‘I don’t know about healthy…’ His words tickled her lips.
‘Liberating, then. We’re grown-ups. We can handle it. Both of us know the score and we’re not looking for anything in addition to our agreement.’
‘You mean that, right?’ His expression was deadly serious now.
‘Yes,’ she said, matching his seriousness with her own. ‘I absolutely do. I promise.’
His hands had been tight on her back, holding her against him, but they relaxed a little as something seemed to occur to him. ‘Still, we need to be sensible, so we should use condoms too from now on, just to be extra-safe,’ he said.
She nodded. ‘Fine by me.’
And it was fine, because the last thing she needed right now was an added complication in her life.
11
BATTLESHIPS – SINK YOUR OPPONENT WITH A BLOW TO THE HEART.
Xavier was late for work, for the first time ever, after taking Soli to bed then having a lot of trouble forcing himself to get out of it again and leave her there, all warm and sexily rumpled.
It had definitely been worth it though. More than worth it. All the pent-up frustration and jagged need that had been stressing him out – to the point where he was having trouble concentrating at work – completely evaporated the moment he let himself give in and do what he’d been desperate to do again ever since that incredible night in Corsica.
Ever since they’d crossed that line it had been inevitable they wouldn’t be able to go back to their platonic existence.
He felt pretty confident it would be okay though. They’d had another talk about sex not changing anything about their deal and had both agreed they were still happy with that. Their physical relationship would only last as long as the marriage; after that they’d both walk away.
A clean break.
Now the thought of having Soli at home, waiting for him every evening, had a very different impact on his mood.
He even started coming home from work earlier, looking forward to spending his evenings with her, eating her wonderful food, or seeing the look of astonished approval when he insisted on cooking for her instead.
