So he went to the fetch the games that he’d had stocked in a cupboard in the living area for guests – as a reaction to her love for them? she wondered hopefully – while she went to get dressed.
They played happily for the next couple of hours, sipping coffee and feeling the warm sea breeze on their faces as they alternated between asking questions and answering them, each taking great pleasure in challenging the other’s knowledge of random facts.
‘I really appreciate you looking after me. It’s kind of you,’ Soli said after they’d finally called a halt to the game. She’d been intensely aware of all the things they hadn’t said to each other since ‘the other night’ and wanted to clear the air so she could breathe properly again. Even if it meant dealing with something she didn’t want to hear. Which, from Xavier’s careful avoidance of touching her or maintaining eye contact for too long, she suspected might be that he believed they’d made a mistake in sleeping together.
Nausea rose from her stomach as she waited for his response, only this time it came about through nerves.
‘Well, I did agree to be there for you in sickness and in health, so I guess I’m just fulfilling my promise,’ he quipped, though she couldn’t help but notice how his whole body had tensed.
She shot him a sheepish smile. ‘Still, it’s good of you.’
He shrugged, clearly uncomfortable with her praising him. ‘You deserve to be looked after too,’ he said gruffly.
Letting out a low breath, she leant back in her chair and crossed her arms. ‘I guess I’m just not used to it any more. It’s been a while.’
‘Since your dad died?’ he asked, their gazes locking.
The sudden swell of emotion she experienced made her suck in a breath.
‘Yeah,’ she said, telling herself to pull it together. This was no time to go to pieces.
Xavier seemed to sense her discomfort and gave her an understanding nod. ‘Hey, I forgot to ask – how’s your sister doing at Oxford?’
‘Great! It sounds like she’s really enjoying herself,’ she said, grateful for the change in conversation.
‘Good for you for making that happen. I’m seriously impressed. I’m not sure many siblings would go to the lengths you did to make sure their sister was set up like that.’
She shrugged, but her face heated at the compliment. ‘It would have been a crime not to let her go to university. She’s so smart. The world is going to thank me one day.’
‘I’m sure it is.’ He sat back and studied her for a moment. ‘I guess I should thank you too. You saved me from losing my home. And perhaps my sanity.’ His smile was wry.
‘Well, you’ve been very generous. You’ve given me more than I asked for.’
He laughed, perhaps to cover his unease. ‘We seem to have turned into the Mutual Admiration Society.’
She smiled. ‘Yes, I guess we have.’
‘Well, why not? We are pretty amazing people, are we not?’
‘We are, I suppose.’
‘No! No “suppose” about it. We are.’
Their gazes locked and Soli got lost in a sudden flash of memory as she thought of how he’d looked into her eyes while they were making love.
‘Listen. About what happened the other night,’ he said in a careful tone that made her spirits plummet.
‘Yes?’
‘I don’t think it’s a good idea to let that happen again. Especially since we still have rather a long time to live together. It could make things tricky.’ He didn’t say, ‘if we end up falling out,’ but it was implicit in his manner.
‘Oh. Er… okay.’ She tried not to sound disappointed, but obviously failed because he said, ‘It’s for the best, Soli,’ in a tone that brooked no argument.
‘I’m not looking for you to fall in love with me or anything, you know,’ she said without stopping to think too hard about what she was saying. ‘We could keep it as a purely physical thing. No strings.’
‘I’m not sure those arrangements ever work,’ he said, his expression radiating extreme scepticism.
Even though her brain was telling her he might have a point, her libido didn’t want to listen. They’d crossed the line now and there was no real way back, it pointed out. In fact, it actually felt to her as if she’d turned a corner in her life after sleeping with Xavier – that she’d finally stepped into adulthood. Now she’d pushed herself over the ledge and found her heart had survived it, she was confident she was mature enough to keep sex and love separate.
