I pull him up so he’s standing in front of me. “Yes. A thousand times, yes,” I gush. I watch as his features shift from nervous to elated.
He gently runs his thumb against my cheek and wipes away my silent tears before I can’t take the distance anymore and roughly pull him into my arms.
Sam kisses the top of my head, my hair, my cheeks, and then finally my mouth.
He kisses me like a drowning man, and I’m his life raft—desire pools between my thighs.
He pulls away, and it takes everything in me to let him. Sam takes the ring out of the box and places it on my left ring finger.
I’m turning into a puddle when he pulls my hand up to his mouth and kisses the ring, and then kisses the back of my hand. “I love you so much, Kat.”
“I love you.” I look down at the ring, admiring it. “Sammy, your mom’s ring is beautiful. Are you sure about this?” I look back at him, trying to gauge his response. “The ring, I mean?”
“Yes,” he answers without hesitation. “She would have loved that it's you.”
I wipe away the tear that trickles down his cheek. Placing my hands on either side of his face, I gently pull him down to me and kiss him, trying to send all of the love I have for this man to him throughthis kiss.
Three Years Later
Sam –
Ihaven’t been able to sleep all night. Instead, I’ve been staring at my gorgeous wife and our adorable son.
He’s perfect—ten fingers, ten toes, and a head full of blonde hair.
When the nurses offered to take him for the night, I insisted that he needed to sleep with me. So here I am, sitting on this god-awful hospital chair, with this perfect, tiny human on my chest.
Despite the uncomfortable seating options, I can’t resist smiling at my baby boy.
A few weeks ago, I read that newborns like to be skin-to-skin. Kat laughed when I tugged my shirt off earlier, but he seemed pretty comfortable to me, so we spent almost the entire night with his tiny bare body against my naked chest—a blanket covering his back, so he doesn’t get cold.
I finally put my shirt back on and put on his blue and white checkered sleeper onesie when the temperature in the room dropped.
I don’t hold back my smile as I look over at Kat, fast asleep. Watching her bring our son into this world was the most fascinatingand terrifying experience. I wanted to take her pain away. But she’s strong. Never gives up.
And I still can’t believe she’s mine.
It took us a long time to reach this point. I know what my life was like without her, and it isn’t something I want to experience ever again.
My son stirs in my arms; I want Kat to keep resting, so I stand up and walk out of the room, quietly closing the door behind me.
I walk the hallways with my perfect boy in my arms, memories of the last couple of years with Kat drifting through my mind.
We still live in the same condo, but I’ve spent the last couple of months turning the spare room into a nursery. I painted the walls green, and once the paint was dry and the fumes were aired out, Kat put up large dinosaur stickers on the walls as I assembled baby furniture and hung Ethan's skateboard on one wall.
I read that the paint fumes aren’t good for pregnancy, so I wouldn’t let her into the room until I knew enough time had passed. Kat was mad at me, especially toward the end. But there was no way I was putting her or our child at risk. I eased the tension with foot rubs and midnight ice cream runs.
I lean my head down and place a soft kiss on my son's tiny head, breathing in his baby scent. Choosing his name was one of the fastest agreements we’ve ever had.
I just wish his namesake were here.
Fuck, I miss him.
I never imagined walking down the aisle without my best friend, my brother, in many ways. I always pictured him standing by my side, waiting with me, encouraging me through it all.
It was hard on Kat, too.
A couple of days before the wedding, she had a major meltdown. She drove to Columbia without telling anyone. I kept calling her, but she wouldn’t answer. Finally, Talia called to tell me Kat was safe and sleeping at their place.
