Still, I can’t help but wish I could’ve had this final goodbye with him.
It’s already happened with Cade. He doesn’t know that yet, but he will.
I hope he doesn’t hate me too much when he realizes. I hope Neo doesn’t either.
Taking the letter I wrote while he slept last night, I set it next to his hand. There’s nothing about this situation or what I’m about to do in there. Even with me gone, I don’t want to put Neo at risk.
The less he knows about this, the better.
The Firm, however, is a different story. They have resources that Neo doesn’t.
I hope they use them along with what I’ve gathered to bring the syndicate to their knees. Nobody deserves it more than they do.
I add the evidence I’ve gathered to my messenger bag. Left on my desk is a plain white envelope. My messy handwriting is smudged across the front, a single word written.
Titan.
My hand hangs above it, suspended in indecision. Is it better for him to know the truth? Or is it better for him to think I’m just an asshole who broke his heart for no good reason?
I can’t do it. I can’t go letting him think I don’t want him. That hurts more than the thought of what’s going to come next.
I pick up the envelope before I can question myself.
Then I’m out the door, not letting myself look back. I close it quietly, determined not to disturb Neo.
By the time he wakes, this will all be over.
I hope he can forgive me, too.
The darkness that greets me as I step outside is welcome. Fitting, almost. Hopefully it’ll hide me long enough to make my delivery.
Not that it’s hiding me from everyone. The instant my car pulls away from the curb, I see a van pull off in my rearview.
I don’t let it panic me. This particular van has been sitting outside our place since a few minutes after Wylder took Cade away. They have to be related. It has to be the guards Wylder placed to protect me.
I did toy with the idea of just sitting in my apartment while the deadline passed, of letting whoever Cade had tasked with guarding me attempt to stop what is coming.
But that didn’t feel right. Still doesn’t.
This is my mess. I won’t have anyone else being hurt or killed because of me.
Hopefully, once The Firm has the evidence on the passenger seat beside me, they’ll be able to stop the syndicate from hurting anyone ever again.
The guards don’t make any attempt to stop me, so I just keep driving.
Numbness sets in as I pull up outside the graveyard. I think back to Cade bringing me here and almost laugh. I should’ve realized earlier what this place was. The significance of it.
I step outside of the car and shiver in the cool night air. Fuck, how I wish Cade were with me now. He’d give me his coat before tucking me under his arm.
He always looked after me. It meant so much.
I wish I’d told him that when I had time. I wish I’d thanked him. I wish I’d told him every day how special he is. How funny, kind, and a little fucked up. The best kind of fucked up though, because I’m fucked up too.
And his fucked up matches mine perfectly.
Most of all, I wish I’d told him that I love him. It’s been such a short time, but I know that I do.
At least I can fix that with the letter in my bag.
