“It’s worse than that.” A few more tears slip down my cheeks. They’re almost raw from how much I’ve been crying. “I broke his heart, Neo.”
Neo holds me as I dissolve once again. Until my sobs fade to hiccups. Until I’m able to breathe properly again.
Well, I say properly, but the band around my chest that appeared when I saw the messages is still there. It’s just as tight, stopping me from taking a full inhalation.
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to again.
“What happened?” Neo asks. “Why’d you do it?”
“Because I had to,” I say simply. “And I can’t tell you anything more, Neo. Please don’t ask me.”
“Okay.” I hear the reluctance, but I’m relieved when he doesn’t push it. “What can I do to help?”
I’m about to tell him nothing. That this situation is of my own making. That I’m not taking anyone else down with me.
But then it occurs to me that there is something he can do. Something that might give The Firm a fighting chance.
I don’t risk saying it aloud. Who knows how safe this place is? I just have to hope that they haven’t been able to break through the encryption on our laptops.
Instead, I pull over a notepad and scrawl out exactly what I need.
Several emotions flicker over Neo’s face. Confusion. Shock. Disbelief. Understanding.
Then, finally, fear.
He opens his mouth to ask questions, but I quickly cover it with my hand. “Sauerkraut.”
His face is grim as I remove my hand. “Really?”
“Really,” I repeat. “Can you do this for me, Neo?”
He bites his lip before nodding slowly. “For you, of course.”
We haven’t discussed it since. I went straight to my computer, trying desperately not to think of Cade. The hurt in his eyes. How he begged and pleaded with me.
The cruel words I said out of desperation to get him to leave.
It was another hole in my heart. A rending of my soul that I know can never be fixed.
Maybe it’s better this way. I can’t see myself surviving this situation. It’s better for Cade to think it’s over.
Maybe then he won’t grieve me.
I hit the enter button and a screen pops up. File after file is displayed.
I sit, stunned.
Holy shit.
I’ve done it. I’ve found it. The nail in the coffin I’ve been searching for.
I print it hastily before wiping my hard drive. Not that I give a fuck if they trace it back to me. They’re going to come after me anyway when I don’t hand over what they’ve asked for.
I’m giving over evidence, but not on The Firm. And definitely not to the Umbra Syndicate.
I check the clock. Fuck. There’s less than an hour until thedeadline expires. I’ve cut it close, but it’s okay. I’ve done it, and that’s what counts.
Soft snores are coming from where Neo has fallen asleep on his laptop. My heart aches as I brush a strand of hair from his face. It’s easier that he’s asleep. He won’t be able to argue with me or try to stop me from doing what I have to.
