Holden and I have become close over his time here. He’s more open around me than he is around the other guys, but I see him starting to open up with everyone, including Les, and I couldn’t be prouder.
“I’m not so little anymore,” he says with a grin, whipping his shirt over his head with confidence.
I started calling him little shit when he first came here because he was skinny as hell. Now he has defined pecs and abs of steel. Nope. Definitely not little anymore.
Stop looking at him like you want to fucking eat him.
I shove his shoulder playfully. “You’re still smaller than me.”
He snorts. “Not everyone can be built like a linebacker.” He turns around to head toward the door, and I see angry red marks all down his back.
“What the fuck happened to your back?” I growl. A flash of white-hot anger runs through me at the thought of someone hurting him.
He spins around with guilt all over his face.“Les,” he finally answers, staring at something over my shoulder.
I frown in confusion. I spin him back around to take a closer look. Holy shit. “Are those from her fingernails?”
“Uh,” he replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah.” I run a finger down one, and his whole body shudders, and I jerk my hand away.
“Sorry,” I mutter. I didn’t mean to hurt him, but holy shit. She did that to him?
“It’s fine,” he says hoarsely, without turning around. “Are you mad?”
I search around for anger or even jealousy. But all I can find is a curiosity about what he did that caused her to claw his back up. “No. What did you do to get those?”
He slowly turns around. “Do you really need a lesson in the birds and the bees, Ryder?” he says sarcastically.
“No, smartass.” I shove his shoulder again with a laugh.
“Well, I mean. You know when a guy and girl are,” he says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, “Things sometimes happen.”
I advance on him with a step forward, and he grins. “You and Les, huh?” I wait for some type of jealousy, but I don’t find it with Holden. I only feel it with Leo and sometimes Gage. I’m trying my hardest not to fuck this up with my stubborn feelings.
He looks guilty again, and I feel like shit. “Yeah.”
“Hey,” I say, gently laying my hand on his shoulder. “It’s fine. I’m not mad.”
“I know how you feel about her,” he says quietly, dropping his head.
“Look me in the eye,” I remind him, and his head slowly comes up. “I know you feel the same. It’s all good, man.”
“I told her what happened to me,” Holden says, dropping to the floor to sit.
I sit down beside him, knowing this is a big deal. “You good?”
“Yeah,” he shrugs. “She deserved to know. I feel better now that she does.”
“Nightmares?” I ask. I know how bad they used to be because I was always the one that ran to him in the middle of the night. I know he felt more comfortable with me, and Les never wanted to make him feel any other way. He used to wake up screaming, covered in sweat with tears rolling down his face. The longer he’s here, the better they are, but I know bringing it up has the potential to bring them back in full force.
He shakes his head. “No. I slept like a baby.”
I give him a dry look. “Sleeping next to a certain someone probably helped with that.”
“You jealous because it wasn’t you?” he jokes.
“You little fucker,” I growl, lunging for him.
We playfully wrestle on the floor like we’ve done a thousand times. Something changes, though. It’s like an electric storm is lighting up the room, firing up every nerve ending I have that is touching him. That’s everything since I have him pinned to the floor, my hips between his legs and his hands above his head.
