“Everything was fine at first. He took care of me the best way he knew because he didn’t have any kids. He sure as hell didn’t know how to take care of a grieving, pissed off fifteen-year-old.” I take a breath and push through. “He started getting really interested in what I was doing, and it didn’t take him long to figure out that I taught myself how to hack.”
At twelve, my love for computers took a turn, and I started coding websites. Shortly after, I figured out I could hack my way into anything. When I was thirteen, I hacked into the school’s computers to change a bunch of grades just because I could. It spiraled from there, and I could get into anything I put my mind to.
“He would push me harder and harder. I thought it was him encouraging me, but he had other plans.” Les’ hands latch onto my arms in support. I lean down, placing my chin on the top of her head for comfort. That vanilla scent swirling around my nose reminds me I’m safe. “He woke me up in the middle of the night two days after my sixteenth birthday by dragging me from the bed. He ignored my questions and pushed me into the living room, where a guy I didn’t know was sitting.” That guy was Hector Castillo, a small-time arms dealer trying to make it big. “My uncle laughed in my face as hethrew me at Hector’s feet, telling me I was sold to the highest fucking bidder.”
“Oh, Holden,” Les whispers, and I can hear the emotion clogging her voice for me. I tighten my hold on her. My own fucking uncle sold me for his own gain, and to this day, I still don’t know how much I went for. All I know is that I lived a life of hell while he lived happily on my parents’ farm.
“They threw me into a trunk of a car blindfolded in nothing but the boxers I was sleeping in. After that, we got onto a plane, and that’s how I ended up in that hellhole you found me in. They gave me one meal a day in that room, and I could bathe once a week and only sleep for four hours a night. The rest of the time, I was hacking various people, filtering money into Hector’s pocket, or stealing whatever information I could.” That isn’t even the worst part; what I have to tell her next is. I swallow past the lump in my throat, determined to tell her everything. “The house was always busy with people, but there was this guy they called Major who paid particular attention to me.”
He was big and always smelled like body odor and weed. I shudder at the thought of him. “He would sneak into my room at night when he was there, which was a lot, and with a gun to my head, he would make me do things with him.”
“Did he rape you?” Les whispers, but she already knows the answer. She can sense it; that’s why she said she knows what I’m going through because she went through it too.
“Yes,” I answer honestly. I can feel her body start shaking and know she’s trying to cover up the fact that she’s crying. “One day, Hector came to me with my biggest job yet. You. I didn’t know who you were, but I heard them talking about you around the house and knew this was my chance. You know what happened next.”
I laid a trail so easy a toddler could follow it, so I knew if Les were as good as they said she was, she would find it.
She spins around in my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck; I don’t even cover up the fact that I have tears sliding down my face. I squeeze her to me with my arms around her waist and breathe her in.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” she whispers into my neck. “If I could take it away, I would.”
“I would take yours away too,” I whisper back, wishing like hell I could take away the feeling I know she felt while those men took advantage of her. No one should have to live with those memories. The only thing keeping me together were Ryder and Les and the family they gave me after I lost mine.
We stayed wrapped around each other until the water starts getting cold. I help dry her off before drying myself. Taking her hand, I lead her back to my bed.
The sheets are freshly changed, and Gage is missing. I send a silent thank you to him and tuck us both into bed. She lays her head on my chest, drawing patterns on my pec with her finger. I run my hands over her soft hair and down her back before pulling her closer to me. I reach down and flip the sheet over us. I don’t know if bringing this up will bring back the nightmares, but I’m not passing up sleeping with her in my arms.
That’s the last thing I remember before falling asleep with my favorite girl in my arms.
Chapter 25
Ryder
“Les isn’t going to like this,” Holden says for the third time, and I suppress an eye roll.
“It’s just a simple trip,” I point out, helping him unwrap his hands from sparring with me. He’s getting damn good, and I’m not as worried about him getting into a fight if I can ever get him out of the house.
He gives me a doubtful look before sitting on the weight bench and lying back. He hooks his hands on the bar and lifts the weights off. I’ve gotten him lifting two-seventy-five, and he barely breaks a sweat anymore. I still spot him closely, though. I watch his biceps ripple and tear my eyes away.
I’ve never found a guy attractive, but working out with Holden all these months has made me pay attention to him in ways that I shouldn’t. Especially knowing what I know about him.
“Yeah,” he grunts, lifting the bar back up. “What if something happens?”
“Nothing is going to happen, Holden.”
“You don’t know that.”
“She’s busy. It’ll be fine.”
Les runs several smaller gangs all over Abbs Valley and Los Angeles. I got a call from a guy named Squid that runs the Disciples. Hesays they’re having problems with their rival gang, and it’s starting to heat up. I’m just going down there to remind everyone who they’re really fucking with, and that’s it. It doesn’t matter who I take with me.
He finishes his sets with the weights and racks the bar. “It’s your funeral.”
I chuckle. “She wouldn’t kill me.”
“She would in a fucking heartbeat.”
“Whatever, you little shit.”
