All I want is to keep her out of this. All I want is for her to be safe. But I know it won’t last. Not with my past circling like hungry vultures.
That night, I can’t help myself. I watch her walk home, staying hidden as she unlocks the door, glancing nervously over her shoulder. She knows something’s off. She can feel it. And so can I.
I stay there watching until the lights go out. I want to walk away, but my feet are rooted. All I can do is watch her shadow move behind the curtains and pray she never learns just how much darkness I carry.
Maybe one day, when all this is over, if I survive it, I’ll deserve her again. But tonight, all I can do is watch and try, in my own fucked-up way, to keep her safe.
Even if it means breaking her heart.
Even if it means breaking my own.
Chapter 7
Aubrey
Dean is a tickingtime bomb waiting to explode, all coiled muscle and restless energy, pacing my living room like he can’t decide whether to run or devour me whole. I watch him from the couch, my legs tucked under me, heart pounding so loud in my ears that it drowns out the rain hitting the glass of the windows. I should be scared of him…of the darkness in his eyes, the barely contained violence that’s currently raging through him. But all I feel is want.
Want, and this bone-deep ache for something real.
He stops, turns, and the look in his eyes is pure hunger. “Are you sure about this?” His voice is rough, tortured sounding, like he’s asking for forgiveness he will never believe he deserves.
I nod, not trusting my own voice. It’s not just about sex with Dean. It’s about wanting him, needing to feel him, taking the risk to let him in even if it guts me in the end.
He’s on me in two steps, his mouth crashing to mine, hands tangling in my hair, fingers bruising my hips. He tastes like whiskey and cigarettes, and when he picks me up, I cling to him, never wanting to let go. We barely make it to the bedroom before clothes are flying, and his mouth is everywhere on my body…my throat, my collarbone, working his way down to my tits, suckinga nipple between his lips until I’m gasping, arching into him, greedy for more.
“Fuck, Aubrey,” he growls. I feel his voice vibrating against my skin. “You’re so perfect.”
All I can do is whimper, too far gone for words at this point. He sits me on the edge of the bed. He drops to his knees, and drags my panties down, spreading my legs wide, burying his face between my thighs. The first lick is slow, and deliberate. I nearly come undone. He devours my pussy like he’s starving. All tongue, stubble, and filthy words, until I’m clawing at the top of his head, begging, then sobbing as I fall apart at the mercy of his mouth.
He doesn’t give me time to recover before he’s up, claiming my mouth again. The taste of me on his lips is the hottest thing ever.
I fumble with this belt, undoing the button on his pants, desperate to get my hands on him…to touch him. He lets out a feral groan the moment my hand closes around his thick cock. Noticing the bead of precum on the tip, I take my tongue and swipe at it, wrapping my lips around the head, releasing it with a loud pop.
He tilts my chin to look at him. “You want me, Aubrey?”
“Yes, please,” I reply, giving him a wicked grin.
He pushes me back on the bed, pinning my wrists above my head. With one perfect, hard thrust, he’s inside me. And I swear I see stars. He fucks me like he’s making a promise and a threat, all at the same time. Every snap of his hips saying, mine, mine, mine. My whole body reacts to him, every nerve ending on fire, burning for this man.
He lets go of my wrists, and I let my hands roam his beautifully sculpted body…nails raking down his back, my fingers gently grazing his bruised jaw. “Who did this to you?” I breathe, letting my thumb trace the dark purple mark.Something in his eyes flashes—pain and rage—and he just shakes his head. For a second, it feels like he might break, but then his mouth is on mine again, hot and desperate, thrusting into me even harder. As if he’s trying to outrun the question. I come so hard, screaming his name. Dean follows, his whole body shuddering, as he bites into my neck to muffle his groan.
For a few minutes, all I hear is our breathing and the pounding of our hearts. He stays inside me, with his forehead pressed to mine, and I feel dizzy, exhilarated, and utterly exposed. It terrifies the shit out of me.
He rolls onto his back, arm still draped over my stomach, his eyes focused on the ceiling. I curl into him, my skin hypersensitive everywhere he touches.
I know this moment is fragile and could shatter to pieces if I make the wrong move. But I want more…I need to know more. I trace tiny circles on his chest, feeling his body tense under my touch.
“Dean?” I say, keeping my voice soft, scared of how this is going to play out. “Can I ask you something?”
He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath, his jaw tight. “Depends on what it is.”
I swallow and force myself not to chicken out. “Will you tell me something real? Anything. I want…” I hesitate. “I want to know you. Not just this…” gesturing with a back-and-forth motion with my hand at our tangled, sweaty bodies. “All of you.”
He doesn’t say anything for what feels like forever. Then, all of a sudden, he sits up, with his back to me, muscles tight like he’s bracing for a punch.
I sit up, pulling the sheet over my chest. “Dean, come on. I’m not asking for your whole life story…just trust me a little bit.”
“Aubrey, I’ve already told you I can’t. Please. Just…drop it.”
