“When will ye be back?” she asked.
“Not for a few days. The ship comes in soon, and I’m going to get as many on it as I can.” Sutherland had two ships that continuously sailed from Scotland to Canada, weighing anchor every two weeks. In the meantime, he moved the people around so they weren’t in one place for too long. It was constant and it was exhausting.
“Have there been any soldiers visiting?” Sutherland asked as the men began shuffling up the steps.
“Captain Palmer came by this morning asking questions about the deaths of the soldiers. Halloway later in the afternoon.”
Sutherland looked at her sharply. “Palmer’s been asking questions?”
“The soldiers were killed nearby. He’s talking to everyone in the area.”
“Ye’re the only one in the area.”
“I know.”
“Be careful, Cait. I don’t like him.”
Neither did she. “I’ll be fine. Halloway supported me.”
Sutherland seemed to think about that before nodding. “I don’t condone killing soldiers without provocation, but I have to admit that two fewer soldiers is a good thing.”
“Do ye know anything about the killings?” she asked.
“Nay.”
She doubted he would tell her if he did, and truthfully, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She was suddenly so very tired of it all but wondered what she would do with her life once it was over. She wasn’t certain she knew how to go back to living a calm existence with no excitement or danger.
Chapter 18
“The consensus is that MacGregor is behind the burning of yer fields,” Adair said.
Iain had suspected as much the night of the fire but had yet to prove it. “Without proof, there’s nothing I can do.”
“These attacks need to stop.”
“I agree, but MacGregor is an old Highlander who holds a grudge better than anyone I know. He refuses to listen to reason. He won’t even allow me on his land to speak to him.”
“We can’t fight two wars on our land,” Adair said. The English were a worse enemy. MacGregor was just a pesky fly that wouldn’t go away. Although the consequences of this last stunt would be felt until the end of next summer. “What about the sunken ship?” Adair asked.
Iain paced to the window, too wound up to sit for long. “It’s what it was reported to be. An unexpected squall that slammed the ship into the rocks.”
“No’ MacGregor, then.”
“Not unless the man can control the weather.”
“I’m sure he’d take responsibility for it if he could.”
Iain looked out the window at the green lawn that sloped gently downward into the Highland woods. In a lot of ways, he was a lucky man. He had this vast house and more wealth than he could count. He held titles in England, thanks to his grandmother’s side of the family, and Scotland, thanks to his father’s family. He was respected among the English, if barely tolerated among his fellow Scots.
For a long while, that had been enough. He knew he was fighting a silent war with England, and that energized him and gave him purpose. Everything he did, every move he made, was carefully thought out to provide the best outcome for Scotland. It was a chess game played in real life, and he thrived on it. While it bothered him that his fellow chiefs and even his fellow clansmen held him in disdain, he knew in his heart that he was doing what was right for Scotland.
But now it wasn’t enough. He felt hollow and lonely inside, and he couldn’t pinpoint why or when this feeling had started. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, and while he wished it would go away, he knew that something fundamental had changed inside of him and the loneliness would be with him forever now.
He hadn’t seen Cait in three days. For him that was a lifetime. Every day he struggled with himself, wanting to go to her. Wanting to check on her. Wanting to speak to her and wanting to make love to her. He’d had women—mistresses, mostly. There’d been two who had come close to being his marchioness, for political reasons only, and both relationships had fallen through when the women were no longer needed for his ambitions. It was heartless, but Iain was known for being cold. Especially when it came to relationships.
However, after his afternoon with Cait, everything changed. He was like a lovelorn lad, and it irritated him that she was all he thought about, to the point that his work against the English was suffering.
He’d thought a lot about his conversation with Cait, playing it over and over in his mind. She’d pushed him out, forced him to leave with no satisfaction to the roiling emotions. In the end, he couldn’t dispute anything that she’d said. She was right. He’d thought that making love to her would give him leave to tell her what to do, to command her in some way. Unfortunately, that was not how Cait thought, and it confused him. He could easily commiserate with Halloway. In short, he was hurt that his feelings weren’t reciprocated, and it made him feel like a fool. He’d walked away because he’d been embarrassed, and he didn’t know what else to do because arguing with her didn’t work.
