“This has to be a joke, right?”
The tequila burned as it hit the back of my throat, the sensation welcome after a long day. Well,anotherlong day. It seemed like my life had devolved into a series of long, infuriating days over the past year. Turned out, deciding to get divorced was the easy part. Untangling your lives after a decade together? That took time and a lot of mediation sessions with lawyers.
Despite Todd being the one who cheated, I’d walked away with almost nothing. I agreed to let him keep the house, not interested in staying in it after I found out about his double life. He’d taken almost everything he’d brought into our marriage, leaving me with mostly just my clothes and a few sentimental items. I could have fought harder, but I had no interest in sitting in that room with Todd any longer than I had to, watching the man I once loved break down our lives into figures and numbers.
Luckily for me, I’d made a few good friends before the divorce. Mynewest one, Ollie, insisted I crash in her spare guest room. Her high rise apartment was something I never could have afforded on my own, but she offered to give me a break on the rent, considering she owned the property and my measly rent check was helping cover utilities and taxes. As much as my wounded pride bristled, I was left with no other option.
Almost as soon as I moved in, Ollie and I became inseparable. It had been a long time since I had real friends, with the exception of Hadley, my former co-teacher. Then, she fell in love with a baseball player, and now, he took up a lot of her time. But luckily, Ollie was there to fill in the gaps, insisting we become best friends too. She even paid for my plane ticket to Dallas, insisting I needed to be at the game with her.
A loud laugh broke me out of my thoughts, forcing me to focus on the present. I slammed the glass down on the table then shifted back on the leather couch, happy to escape into the back corner of the dive bar with my friends, Hadley, Ollie, and Victoria. Dallas was supposed to be a good time, a trip to celebrate Hadley’s boyfriend, Cam, getting picked to play in the pro-baseball All-Star game.
However, it wasn’t the only reason we all decided to tag along. While Hadley had no idea, the rest of us knew Cam planned on proposing during the game, even tucking a ring inside an old baseball.
We’d all been riding high after she said yes and the guys crushed the other team. The night was filled with laughter as we sat in the stands with some of the other players’ families. When one of the other player’s sisters offered to take Victoria’s daughter and the other kids for the night so we could celebrate longer, none ofus hesitated, ready to make the most of our trip.
But that was before my mother called and my mood tanked.
“Nope. Apparently, my ex wants me to come to his wedding. Even invited my brother and parents too.” I snorted, unable to hold back my annoyance. “Makes sense. After all, I was there when their relationship started. Might as well be there when they seal the deal, pour salt into the gaping wound for everyone to see.”
Damn you, alcohol. I’d done a good job of keeping my insecurities at bay, too focused on celebrating Hadley to dwell on my former marriage. But the drinks had another plan, bringing all those buried feelings right back to the surface.
“Absolutely not,” Ollie snapped. “You’ve wasted enough time on that asshole. You are not going to his wedding.”
“If I don’t, Todd will think he’s won, prove I’m nothing more than a sad spinster while he’s moving on with his life.” As Hadley poured another shot of tequila into the glass in front of me, I winced. “Maybe I’m the problem. It’s not like I’m anything special in bed, so I shouldn’t be surprised Todd cheated.”
All three sets of eyes widened at my statement, their shot glasses still full in their hands, as if I’d pressed pause on the world. Ollie was the first to come back to life, slamming her glass back down on the sticky bar table. Her blonde bob swayed, her dark brown eyes lethal. “Please tell me Todd the Toad did not say something like that to you.”
My cheeks darkened at her favorite nickname for my ex. Even though he was the furthest thing from a toad in the looks department, now that she pointed it out, I couldn’t help but hear the croakinessin his monotone voice.
I shook my head. “He never said that, but he also never seemed overly enthusiastic when we were in the bedroom. It felt more like a chore, like there was a timeline in his mind. Wednesday? Have sex with Bri.” I grimaced as the memories came rushing back. “It’s been years since it felt like sex was about us, and I can’t help but think I’ve been doing something wrong, especially now that he’s marrying the woman he left me for.”
Hadley reached over and took my hand. I gave her a grateful smile. She’d been my rock throughout all this mess. Ever since Hadley showed up at my school last year, a kaleidoscope of glitter and rainbows, she’d been by my side, almost forcing me into her orbit. Hadley had a way of bringing people close, a natural charisma that put everyone around her at ease. She was the first person I confided in about my marital woes, needing an outlet outside of my family.
The fourth member of our crew, Victoria, just sat back, watching the entire exchange in quiet support. Compared to Ollie and Hadley, her response might not be as vocal, but I knew she was always there to lend an ear.
“Fuck that,” Ollie said as she signaled the bartender for another round of drinks.God, my flight tomorrow was going to be a nightmare. But that was a problem for future Bri. As she handed me a glass, she smiled wickedly. “What you need is a no-strings sex situation to move on once and for all. You’re way too hot to only have boring, marital sex.” She clinked her glass against mine. “You need to find someone who ticks all your boxes—show you what you’ve been missing all along.”
I downed the shot without further thought, noticingthat the burn wasn’t as horrendous as it had been earlier. Probably because the alcohol had already numbed all my senses, leaving behind only giggles and warm vibes. After I sucked the juice from the lime and dumped it back in the shot glass, I frowned. “What boxes are we talking about here?”
Hadley and Ollie shared a look while Victoria just smirked into her glass. “Depends on what you’re into.” Ollie paused, her devious eyes trailing up and down my body. “I’m taking you for more of a submissive type? A little BDSM?” Her brown eyes widened. “Please tell me there’s a Daddy kink lurking underneath that quiet exterior.”
My cheeks flushed, and this time, it wasn’t because of the tequila. I shook my head. “Definitely not. Todd once asked who my daddy was in the bedroom.” I shuddered at the memory. “It did not go well.”
“What did you say?” Hadley asked.
“Well, he asked, so I answered honestly. Apparently, my dad’s name wasn’t the answer he wanted.”
All three burst out laughing, and I couldn’t help but join in. This was what I’d been missing—a group of friends to commiserate during my lows and celebrate my highs. When I left college, I had a pretty solid group, but we drifted apart when our lives started to settle. Between marriages, babies, and more responsibilities, our friendships fell by the wayside. While I wished I could blame it on the others, a lot of it was my fault. I’d poured so much into my marriage, pretty close to co-dependent on Todd for the decade we were together.
It wasn’t until our relationship began to fray that I realized how much I’d isolated myself, how much I missed having a life of my own. Making new friends andfiguring out what my new normal looked like wasn’t easy, but I was determined to enjoy myself.
“Okay, so no Daddy kink,” Hadley said. “But there must be other things you’ve always wanted to explore but never could in your marriage. Any super-secret desires you want to share with the rest of the class?”
I shook my head, heat filling my cheeks. Nice girls didn’t talk about sex, especially not in public. It was supposed to be something only shared in the bedroom between two loving, consenting adults—not fodder for gossip circles. Bile hit the back of my tongue. Those words sounded more like my mother’s than my own. After a lifetime of indoctrination that sex was a sin, meant for procreation, not pleasure, it was hard to erase that mentality. The women surrounding me helped. While they never talked about their boyfriends in that capacity, they were more than happy to share their past exploits, especially Ollie. While I was a serial monogamist, she had a strict two-week rule, and no one had tempted her to break it yet. We were opposites like that. She never let men stick around for too long, and I’d let the wrong one stay around forever.
If Todd hadn’t crushed my heart, I’d probably still be there with him, suffering in silence as my world collapsed around me.
Victoria placed her hand over mine. “If you don’t want to talk about this, we don’t have to. We’re just trying to help.”
