In my nervousness over therapy today, I started to focus on the fact that Emme hadn’t worn anything of mine yet. Not that I’d expected her to, but I’d added my clothes to her wardrobe in case she wanted the comfort of my scent in the same way I craved the comfort of hers.
It was growing harder not to sneak into her room and roll around on her bed like I was channeling Kellan fucking Jackson. Instead, I snuck in to leave a few tokens of affection, using gloves while I made origami and handled the magazines. In the hopes she’d enjoy the gifts without feeling any obligation attached to them.
With our upbringing, gifts were often a double-edged sword causing us to overthink how to accept and thank someone for them. Especially with Emme and my tenuous relationship.
I’d loved origami since I was young, when Jiro, Kenzo’s grandfather, had taken a lost, angry shifter and taught him productive ways to channel his emotions. When he passed a few years ago, we were both devasted, but his life lessons would remain for much longer than the shifter himself. Any healing I’d found since my family’s death had come via that calm, strong male.
Kenzo retained a lot of his grandfather’s traits, and I was honored to be treated like his family.
Jiro would have been disappointed in the way I acted when Emme came into my life, as I regressed into that same angry teenager. At least it did teach me that I still had a lot of healing to do, and trauma I needed to deal with.
Between origami, hockey, and therapy, I felt stronger and calmer. The only part of my life not in place was my relationship with Emme, but it also wasn’t as bad as it could be either.
She was far too kind and forgiving, and as much as it worried me that fuckers would take advantage of her, I was also grateful she was open to me mending the bridges I’d burned between us. Having a chance was more than I deserved.
That day in Texas when she’d acted like I didn’t exist remained front and center in my nightmares—hence why sleep had been even more elusive than usual lately.
I could never let that happen again, or I might as well cut my own throat and call it a day.
Emme was essential to my existence. Without her, there was no me.
It was only short of terrifying to know I’d be spilling dark secrets in front of her today, and I hoped Dr. Karen of the Whipsnar pack could keep it all on track. I’d only had a dozen sessions with her so far, but I found the eagle shifter easy to talk to. She had a calming and non-judgmental manner, and even when she asked hard questions and pushed me through my demons, it didn’t send me spiraling.
I had no idea how she managed it, but if it helped me grow through my trauma, then I’d continue these near daily sessions for as long as it took.
“Hey,” Emme said, breaking through my thoughts as she hurried down the stairs, jumping into the entrance hall. “I hopeI’m not late! Slade was helping me learn more about my dyslexia and we figured out fonts that improve my reading.”
Her face was flushed, her eyes lit up with a deep excitement. She looked so beautiful that it was hard to stare directly at her. Especially when all I wanted was to drag her against me and drown in her curves.
She pushed the wild strands of her pinkish blond hair off her face, and the piercing ice in her eyes held me captive. The first time I’d stared into her unusual eye color, I’d been hit with a sense of home that sent me into a downward spiral. Since that day, nothing had changed, except my stupid ass was no longer running from it.
“You’re right on time,” I assured her, already calmer with her presence.
My bear rumbled at me to step closer, but I knew I’d struggle to keep my hands off her, which was the last thing she needed.
She tightened Slade’s coat around her, her slender form swamped by the massive jacket. If she ever wore anything of mine, I’d use that a sign she had truly forgiven me. Until then, I’d be happy with the relationship we were slowly developing.
“Do you want to drive?” I asked her.
Her happiness shot up a few extra notches, and I felt that smile all the way to my soul.
“I’d love to,” she said, moving closer, and my chest rumbled as her scent wrapped around me. “But let’s choose one of the other reinforced cars today. The G-Class has had a good run lately.”
I nodded, and she fell into step beside me as we headed for the garage. “What will you choose?” I asked. “The Rangey, Rolls, or Hummer?”
She took a long time to consider them all, her expression torn as she worried at her plush bottom lip with her teeth. I was so mesmerized by the movement that by the time she answered, I’dalmost forgotten the question. “The Rolls. I’ve never driven one, obviously, and I feel like you deserve a little luxury before you delve into painful memories.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed as we entered the garage, stepping into my happy place.
Or at least it had been before Emme.
Now, I wasn’t so sure I could have a happy place she wasn’t in.
As we headed for the Rolls, I was stopped by Emme reaching out andgrasping my hand.
My bear roared and it felt like the world stilled around us. We didn’t touch much in general, but today she pushed her pain and anger at me aside to offer comfort.
“Before we get to therapy, I just wanted to say that it’s going to be okay,” she said, her expression soft around the edges. My sweet fucking mate. Goddess, I would be protecting her until my last breath. “You’re brave for taking this step and fighting your demons. I admire and respect that about you, and I want you to know that even though we haven’t experienced the exact same upbringing, I do understand some of what you went through. The abuse, fear, and loneliness. I will never judge or repeat anything I hear in that room.” Her lips twitched. “No matter how much you piss me off.”
