“Hey, bestie,” I whispered back, because I wasn’t ready to stop playing his games yet.
The lonely, broken parts of me that had started with the death of my mom and were made worse when dad left me in the care of two virtual strangers craved love and the deeper bonds of a true family. “I missed you this morning,” he added, his deep blue eyes shining as he propped his head on his hand and stared my way. “Why are you always running out of the house at the crack of dawn? We’re starting to think you’re avoiding us.”
And they’d be correct. “I can’t fall behind on schoolwork, and I find it easier to study in the library.”
Brodie’s lips twitched. “Eth said you weren’t there, babe. I’ll give you some time to try again.”
Fuck. I had to press my lips together to prevent laughter from spilling free. I was busted, but Brodie, thankfully, didn’t give me too much shit about it as he nudged me gently and got back to his notes.
For the rest of class, we actually paid attention to Ethan, and I was struck once again by how clever and patient he was. I’d never had a professor explain complex terms in such an easy-to-understand way, and while I was attracted to his looks, of course, it was his personality that really sealed the deal on my interest for the professor.
He’d shown real care toward me on more than one occasion, calming me when no one else in the world would have been able to. He’d taken away my pain and fear and hurt.
Maybe for once, this wasn’t about me attaching when Ishouldn’t. Or at least it wasn’tstillabout my attachment issues. It could build to something real. It was just super frustrating that the one guy who was able to offer me both attraction and peace was also forbidden.
He’d asked me to meet him at the library, but I’d decided it was too risky; I couldn’t live with myself if I got him fired.
Not that I’d ever admit it to Brodie, no matter how long he gave me to come up with another story, but a large part of my reason for avoiding the house was avoiding Ethan. It was either avoid him or jump him in the halls and demand he ease the ache he’d created that first day in the library.
When everyone started to pack up around me, I realized class was over and I’d missed the last third of the lecture. Not that it was a huge deal, since I’d already read ahead and had a solid grasp of the concepts we were working on. Brodie stayed with me as we walked down the aisle to exit, only for Ethan to call my name. “Evelyn, would you stay back for a few minutes? I’ve got a question about your last online quiz submission.”
Every week Ethan got us to fill in a short quiz and questionnaire, in the hopes of catching issues early on. I had found it easy enough this week, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t about the quiz at all.
No one looked my way, already involved in their own world as they left; Brodie was the only one to stay. “We should wait and talk at the house this afternoon,” I said to Ethan, offering him a warm smile.
He remained by his desk, expression neutral as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Evidence suggests that’s not going to happen. I’d prefer to speak with you now, since this is your only class for the day, and you’ve got nowhere else to go.”
Brodie wrapped his arm around my shoulders and gave a quick squeeze. “Get it over with, Evie babe,” he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.
His lips were warm, and as his breath fanned across myface, I barely resisted the urge to turn my head slightly and bring our mouths closer together. Brodie Keller was potent, and when he left the room, I was both frazzled and flustered.
A deadly combination now that I was alone with Ethan.
“Are you doing okay?” he asked quietly, remaining against his desk. “Andrew mentioned you had a pretty bad nightmare the other night, and we all know that’s not been the only one.”
My throat grew tighter as I recalled the reasons why I was having nightmares. Maybe it was time to try and find another therapist, but the thought of having to spill my entire history again had my skin itching and the urge to run strengthening—not to mention there was some risk involved with it.
The shooter was still out there, and a simple changing of my last name and a purple sheen in my hair didn’t mean he wouldn’t recognize me if my identity was spilled. Equally as bad, in my last school, I’d been looked at with pity, hate, and even fear.
I didn’t want that to happen here.
But there was an NDA. That protected me as well as the others, right?
“You’re bound by the NDA too, correct?”
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “I am. But you wouldn’t need it to trust me with your secrets.”
Weirdly, I believed him. “In my last college, I was involved in a school shooting. When Connor pulled that gun on me, it triggered me badly enough that I’ve gone back to the horrendous nightmares and insomnia that I experienced just after the attack.”
Intense therapy had helped me move to a place where I could sleep without drugs and only the occasional nightmare, and it was so frustrating that I’d stumbled so far back.
Ethan’s arms twitched, as if he wanted to reach out for me, but he maintained his current position. “Eve. Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
He closed his eyes briefly, as if fighting against himself, and I ended up being the one to step closer; Ethan constantly drew me into his orbit. Even with my issues, I’d never felt such an instant bond as I did with this man.
“I’m really okay,” I lied, wanting to ease his distress. Not to mention, I still worked on the theory that if I said it enough, it’d eventually be true. “This regression was absolutely to be expected with all the changes in my life. New situations bring on the panic attacks, which is what you saw that first day in the library.”
And then again with Connor, the fucking psychopath.
