“You said you were looking for Reece?” I reminded her. “He’s just gone out to mingle with the dynasty leaders before tonight’s celebratory event. He should return soon.”
She waved me off, the gold in her eyes dancing as she did what she’d always been excellent at: creating a sense of comfort and warmth. “Running into an old friend, such as yourself, confirms the push I felt to attend this meeting. I don’t usually bother myself with this world’s politics any longer, but somehow I knew this was going to be an important one.”
“Right,” I said, trying to read her, but she was holding her cards close to her chest. “We can catch up further at the dinner tonight. Will there be others in attendance from your family?”
She nodded. “Oh yes, Dally, Mirinda, Fleur, and Miver will all be there. Seeing all of you together... that will truly be something.”
Those names evoked as many memories as this world did. Tsuma’s children had always been at Reece’s home in Rohami.
“What about Zena?” I asked.
That was when her smile faded. “Yes, she is here. I came to see Reece on her behest, actually. She’s hoping he’ll save the first dance for her tonight, but now that you’re here...”
Some of her reticence in explaining why she’d been looking for Reece made sense now. Her eldest daughter, the very beautiful Zena, had always had a thing for Reece. I’d tormented myself over the years thinking of those two together, but from what I’d heard, it had never happened. Seemed as if that hadn’t stopped Tsuma from continuing to try.
“Don’t worry about Reece and me,” I said shortly, a few flecks of ice seeping into my tone. “We are as we’ve always been.”
Enemies.
While that wasn’t strictly the truth, our lives no longer as black and white as they had once been, it would hopefully set her mind at ease.
Now I just had to endure whatever happened tonight because being back in the same room as my old life could be a recipe for disaster.
* * *
Once Tsuma left,I found myself pacing the tent, wishing that Mera was awake so I could vent all these... feelings. How the hell did people live like this? With what felt like a damn bomb inside about to explode.
I should never have agreed to come back here; this world had always been destructive for me.
“Angel?” Mera appeared in the doorway, her face scrunched up as she yawned and rubbed her eyes. “I fell asleep?”
Thank the meadow’s creator.She was finally awake.
Hurrying toward her, I found myself right in her personal space, which was so unlike me that there was no surprise when Mera’s drowsiness vanished as her wide eyes locked on mine. “What the hell happened while I was asleep?”
I shook my head, reaching out to grasp her biceps. When Tsuma had touched me, it’d been uncomfortable, but it felt like second nature with Mera. “I collected our outfits, and just as I was about to return inside, an old acquaintance of mine from this world showed up.” My words got faster and faster as they spilled from me. “I haven’t seen her in centuries, but dammit, it was like no time had passed at all. I don’t think I can do this. I can’t be here.”
At this point Mera looked like she was freaking out, no doubt because she’d never seen mefreaking out. “Angel, slow down and take some deep breaths. You’re having a panic attack, which is perfectly acceptable in these circumstances, but it’s stopping the very rational side of your brain from functioning.”
My breathing was rapid at this point, whistling through my teeth in harsh gusts, and I could not remember ever feeling or acting like this. It had to be some side effect of my rebirth, which was all well and good, but how did I snap out of it?
Mera pushed me down to the ground, spreading my legs apart, and when I blinked at her, she smiled. “Trust me.”
I trusted her more than anyone in the worlds, so when she put her hand on the back of my head and forced me to lower it between my parted legs, I didn’t fight her.
“Now take deep breaths in and out.”
At first, I couldn’t comply, but as she started to count the beats for me to breathe in and out, I managed to slowly get myself under control, all the while cursing my momentary weakness.
For a second, I’d been the same Melalekin who had lost everything in these lands.
I refused to go back to that being, not now or ever.
Tonight would be a true test, and it was one I was determined to win.
17
Mera sat with me for many minutes, letting me mentally beat myself up as I made plans for how I would be stronger next time.
