“I can’t have children?”
Dr. Ryan shot me a sympathetic stare. “I’m sorry, but the damage done to your uterus was too great, and I couldn’t stop the bleeding. We had to remove it entirely, or you would have died.”
I just stared at him. I had no uterus. I was eighteen years old, I didn’t give a fuck about kids right now, but one day…
“I know this is a huge blow, and we have counselors here at the hospital you can speak with in more depth. I just want you aware, there was no other choice. If we hadn’t done this, you wouldn’t have survived.” His tone was gentle, sympathetic, but he couldn’t possibly comprehend the shock I was experiencing.
I just nodded, not really sure what else I could say. He finished the rest of his update in a calm, soothing voice but I wasn’t listening. Not really. “This is your pain button.” He pointed it out as I blinked away some of the haze of shock. “You can top up as needed, and we’ll monitor you for a few days before releasing you into the care of”—he cleared his throat—“your friends.” He clearly knew I had no family to care for me.
I was still staring at him, just blinking, my brain screaming as a feeling of loss washed through me. I’d never had a real family, always alone, and now I would never know what it felt like to create life. To create a family.
Doctor Ryan gave me a sympathetic nod and patted my arm before leaving the room. A second later familiar hands were on my face. Rafe and Jordan, both at my side, held me the best they could.
“Violet, talk to me,” Rafe rasped out.
“Baby, what’s wrong? What did he say?” That was from Jordan.
My eyes burned as I lifted my face to them. “I—the doctor—he said that… I can’t have children.” The words were broken, rasping out of my dry throat. All the moisture in my body must have been in my tear ducts because I was crying, the pain leaking from me in a torrent of tears.
“What do you mean?” Jordan asked.
Rafe had gone scarily silent, eyes unmoving from my face.
“Uriel must have dragged his blade down in those final moments,” I choked out, sniffling, “and he ruptured or punctured or damaged my uterus in some way. I missed the finer details, but the doctor had to remove it or I was going to bleed out in surgery.”
Rafe made an almost inhuman sound of fury, and then in a flash, he pulled away and stormed out of the room. Jordan’s eyes followed that movement for a beat before he turned back to me, both hands on my cheeks now. “Violet, baby, I’m so sorry.”
A sob escaped.
“I don’t even know if I wanted kids,” I choked out with bitter laughter. “Fuck. It’s always one loss after another.” I lifted my face to see his red-rimmed eyes watching me while he held me close. “I’m broken. Damaged. I can never give you or Rafe an heir. There’s literally nothing I can offer you now.”
Jordan’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t want an heir. I wantyou.”
Another sob, followed by another. “You say that now, but you’re going to be the king of New America. It’s a hundred percent expected that you will have children. You need an heir.”
Jordan scoffed and shook his head. “Nope, my sister can take up that responsibility. Or we’ll adopt. Yep, we can adopt a commoner, and that will really make the world stand up and take notice.”
I stared at him, waiting for him to truly realize what he was saying. A king adopting someone not of royal blood…? It was unheard of. Jordan didn’t flinch though, steadily holding my gaze, and somehow, an iota of the pain tearing through my chest eased. He meant what he was saying. He didn’t care.
“I love you,” I whispered. “I want this to work, so if you’ll fight…”
“I will fight all the way,” he promised, leaning in to kiss me.
As he pulled away, my eyelids fluttered as exhaustion pressed harder on me. I fought against it, needing to see Rafe.
“Where did he go?” I asked, slurring my words as the pain medication tried to drag me into sleep again. “I’m too broken now…”
My shit was barely making sense, and I wasn't going to be awake long enough to yell at Rafe.
“Don’t ever say that again,” a low voice snapped, and I jerked my eyelids open, having closed them unknowingly. Rafe was back at my side, staring down at me with his Fallen Angel expression. “You’re perfect and I hate kids.”
A sad chuckle escaped me. “Liar. You adore your siblings.”
I must have closed my eyes again, and I barely felt the kiss Rafe pressed to my lips. “I love you, princess. Sleep now; I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I was conscious long enough for Jordan to kiss me as well, and then they both settled in beside me, refusing to move an inch. Through my grief, I felt protected and secure, and some of the ache in my chest eased.
Jordan’s voice penetrated the encroaching darkness. “Where the fuck did you go, man?”
