"I'm sorry, baby," Jordan whispered by my ear, holding me with a firm grip that must have hurt him. "I fucked that up. I keep doing that."
Another sob. More fucking sobs. I couldn't shut it down, couldn't make it stop.
"I'm the one fucking up everything," I choked out. "You don't even know the whole story. I've been a disaster since birth with a destiny that no one would want."
His hold didn't ease. "Rafe told me everything, and I don’t give a shit about any of that. Rafe and I both need to pull our heads out of our asses."
He released me just enough that he could turn me to face him. "I haven't even asked how you're handling everything," Jordan whispered, anguish in his voice. "I didn't want you to have to deal with me when I'm like this, but hurting you more... it's not an option."
"I'm sorry," I sobbed, my face feeling hot and swollen. "I'm so, so sorry they hurt you."
When he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine, more tears fell—the pain was agonizing. Everything about this felt like a goodbye moment, and I wasn't sure I could handle that.
When Jordan pulled away, his eyes were red, and even if there were no tears, his pain was just as transparent as mine. "You're leaving me, aren't you?"
His eyes narrowed. "Not a fucking chance, Violet."
I—What?
This time when he kissed me, there was not a single ounce of "goodbye" in it; if anything, Jordan kissed me like he'd been desperately craving this his entire life. It started slower, soft as he explored my mouth and I did the same to him in return. I needed this even more than I'd realized, and neither of us were in a rush.
Savoring it was a good way to describe it.
"I was so fucking worried about you," Jordan breathed, pulling back. "The things Uriel said he would do to you—the things he said hediddo to you—made me lose my mind."
I was going to kill him. Uriel had fucked with my life one too many times, and I didn't care how long it took, one day I would end that son of a bitch.
Jordan distracted me from my murderous thoughts by lifting me up in the water, bringing our faces closer together. As I wrapped my legs around him, trying to be as gentle as I could, he started to walk backward, heading toward a familiar alcove.
"Last time I didn't get to finish what I started," he murmured, kissing me between each word. "This time I won't stop."
Normally I would have threatened to kill him if he did. But it felt like we'd all come too close to that recently, so I just pulled myself closer and said, "Please don't. I need you."
Jordan's face fell. "I'm sorry, Vi. I hurt you, and that was never my intention. My own fucked up thoughts sent me down a dark path."
Not wanting to cry again, I lifted my head, needing to get back to the kissing. Jordan obliged, and as my lips parted and his tongue stroked across mine, my body responded in kind, rocking into the hard length pressed against my thin bikini bottoms.
"Is this hurting you?" I gasped when he released me.
"Not even a little."
His hands went to my waist, lifting me higher so that he could reached beneath my swimsuit and stroke across my clit. Wetness gathered at his touch. I was so ready, craving this moment with Jordan. Apparently both of us were impatient because he didn't undress me, choosing instead to pull my swimsuit aside as I freed him from his shorts. His long, hard length was silky under my touch, and as he lifted me a little higher, I slid down onto him, groaning as he filled me completely.
"Jordan."
"Violet," he replied. "You feel so fucking good."
The water helped as he started to move inside of me, stroking in and out with long, sure movements that had whimpers falling from my lips as my body responded fully. No more words were spoken between us, but Jordan never took his eyes from mine and when I came, his lips swallowed my cries.
Carrying the bulk of my weight, he moved farther into the pools to where it was shallow enough that he could lay me back on the smooth, natural stones that had been worn over time until they were like marble. Setting me down gently, he moved harder and faster, and I wrapped my legs around him, needing to be as close as I could to my sweet prince.
His tongue caressed my nipples through the swimsuit top, and they were so sensitive that I knew I wasn't going to be able to hold out for much longer. As my moans got louder, the spiraling in my center exploded, and I cried out his name.
"Baby, holy fuck," he groaned, following me as he jerked inside of me, both of us coming for what felt like ten minutes.
The next part was almost as good as the sex. Jordan didn't drop my ass in the water and storm away; instead, he helped me fix my swimsuit. Then together we floated in the water, chatting about nothing and everything at the same time.
I'd be an idiot not to notice that he was different. There was a sliver of steel at his core that hadn't been there before, a violence that was quicker to appear in his eyes—especially when I spoke about Uriel and any plans of thebad resistance—but he didn't take it out on me again. I had to hope and pray that meant we could move back to a relationship like before.
