“I’m telling you the truth! That’s how it all went down,” Shane pleaded.
“I just find it hard to believe that you weren’t the one to tell her I was at your house that day. Then, for her to agree to take you to the doctor but file for a divorce from me just doesn’t makeany sense to me at all. So, fuck me, but she was cool with you after finding out about us? Really, Shane, I smell a rat, and the rat is you!” I snapped.
“I ain’t no rat! Hell, you the fucking rat!”
“Fuck you, Shane!”
“I’d rather not! You need to leave!”
“I can’t believe I risked my life fucking with your lying ass! You lucky I don’t fuck you up for giving me that bullshit and getting me caught up with my wife!”
“How you know you didn’t give it to me! You said it yourself that you could’ve given it to other people, so that means me and Ava aren’t the only ones you were sleeping with?”
“Don’t fucking play me like that! You gave the shit to me, and you know it!”
“You don’t know that to be a fact!”
“You don’t either! But I will say this, I didn’t have HIV until after I started fucking around with yo ass!” I fumed.
“I’m so sorry, Justin, I never meant for any of this to happen. Does Ava have it also?”
“I have no fucking idea! She won’t talk to me.”
“Damn,” Shane mumbled under his breath as he covered his mouth with his hand.
“Damn is right, and it’s all your fucking fault!” Storming past him as fast as I could, I opened his front door then turned to look back at him. “You deserve everything you have coming to you for FUCKING UP my life like this!” Hawking back then spitting in his face, I walked out of his front door, slamming it behind me.
I hoped he wasn’t stupid enough to follow behind me to try to retaliate because in all truthfulness, I wasn’t in any condition to be physically fighting anyone. Either way I was prepared to use my cane if I had to. I left Shane’s house not getting the answers that I went there seeking. He continued to claim that he didn’t tell Ava about us and that he didn’t give her a heads up that I wasat his house the day she caught us, but I didn’t believe him. Ava had no reason of her own regard to ever suspect that anything was going on between Shane and I, so what in the world would prompt her to come to his house of all places?
Then the whole cockamamie story he tried to tell, about Ava finding out on a fluke had me so confused. I got that they were best friends, but she was my wife. How was it that she was open to being there for him in his time of need, but not for me in mine? The whole situation had me feeling some type of way now more than anything because if, and I say it very loosely, if I was the one that contracted HIV first, then that would mean that I would’ve gotten it from Tate, and he was just as pissed and surprised by all of this as I was.
Making it to my truck, I got in and decided to drive by Ava’s house just because. I hated that she lived on the same street as her sister, but it was what it was. As I rode by her house, I noticed that she was not at home. I couldn’t help but to think how I had really messed up big time this time around because she had moved on to someone else. Seeing that dude at her house last night, answering her door and all really disturbed my spirit.
When she first gave me the envelope that contained divorce papers, I ripped all the pages up and threw them in the trash. Ava and I had been together for so long that there was no way I was going to give up on our marriage that easily. I loved her with all of my heart. I just had this part of me that I could not shake when it came to being completely satisfied with her in the sex department. But me not being completely satisfied by her, didn’t take away from the fact that I loved her, and I wanted to talk and work things out because I needed her to still be a part of my life.
I never wanted her to not be in my life, and I knew that if I would’ve told her that I was bisexual, she wouldn’t have accepted it. So, I had no choice but to keep my feelings a secret.Just because I felt that way it didn’t take away from the fact that I loved her and wanted her to be my wife. Had she given me the opportunity to explain all of this to her, things would probably be different. But she wasn’t trying to budge at all. She didn’t want to hear shit I had to say, and that was where I felt she was being unfair. She budged for Shane but couldn’t budge for me, yet claimed at a time that she loved me… how was that?
When I got home from the hospital after my surgery, I was contacted by a lawyer regarding the divorce papers that Ava had given me. I told the lawyer that I had thrown the papers out and was in the process of working things out with my wife. But Ava apparently had other plans because a couple of days later, I was served at my house with a second envelope that contained divorce papers. Every time I tried to call Ava to talk to her, she’d ignore my calls, so what was I to do?
I knew that she was more than likely staying at her sister’s house, so when I stopped by yesterday and her neighbor told me that Ava had moved down the street, I got back in my truck. I circled the block while I thought about what to say to her, then once I was sure of myself, I went to her house. I never thought that she would move on with someone new so soon. I mean, how disrespectful was that when our divorce wasn’t even final yet?
Seeing that Ava wasn’t home, I decided to call Tate. I tried calling him a few times after my surgery, but he didn’t answer. I figured that I would leave him alone for a while so that he could process everything before reaching back out to him. Now that I had let Shane know how I felt and cut off all ties to him, I needed to catch up with Tate. Pulling into The Broiler, this seafood restaurant that Ava and I would go to all the time, I parked my truck then grabbed my cellphone so that I could call Tate. As the phone was ringing, I prayed to God that he would answer. After five rings, just when I thought his voicemail was going to pick up, he answered.
“Why are you calling me, Justin?”
“Hey! Tate!” I all but shouted with happiness. “I didn’t think you were going to answer.”
“I almost didn’t. You have some nerve calling me!” Tate said angrily.
“We need to talk, don’t you think?”
“Ya think? How could you be so careless? I get that we never divulged who we were sleeping with outside of each other, but damn, Justin! What the fuck!”
“I fucked up. I know I fucked up,” I admitted.
“What the hell was you thinkin, and why didn’t you use protection?”
“That’s the thing, bro,” I started, but Tate cut me off.
