“I’m good, son.”
Asao nodded, exposing a cocky grin before he hugged his father. The men remained in the embrace, both processing their emotions to get them in check before they separated.
“Welcome home, Pop.” Asao swallowed the heaviness that crawled up his throat before he motioned toward his Jeep. They made the three-hour drive, not speaking much. A few words here and there, but for the most part, Asao allowed his father the peace of considering what his new life would be.
Their first stop was Crescent Manor where Leedren sat in Reg’s chair to get a fresh cut and conversation that fed his soul. Leedren thanked the OG for looking out for his son in his absence while Reg waved him off. The two men caught up likeold friends, which Leedren appreciated because he needed to feel like his past was still a part of who he was.
Their next stop was Asao’s apartment where his father showered and dressed in clothes his son had purchased for him. Only a handful of things because Asao respected that his father needed independence and not to be treated as a man who wasn’t capable of making decisions for himself.
The last stop they made was a house in Crescent Pointe. One of the smaller ones that first established the neighborhood. As they sat in the driveway, Leedren stared at the house he’d once shared with his wife. A house where his name was on the title but his son paid the mortgage for years until he paid off the loan. His pride was fucking with him in conflicting ways. Having his son pick up the slack and problems he’d left behind was a moment a father could celebrate. However, having his son need to land in the role was a hard pill to swallow.
“Don’t let that shit fuck with your head, Pops. We made it work, you’re home now,” Asao said from beside him, bringing a smile to Leedren’s face. It was as if his son was in his head.
“This is hard,” Leedren admitted to his son before his eyes landed on the house. “That woman in there is the only woman I have ever loved. Will ever love. Even if she tells me this is not her life anymore, it will always be mine.”
The affirmation tightened something in Asao’s chest. He had been struggling with that same thing since Samari had weaved her way into his mind, pushing through his veins like the sweetest toxin that flooded his body with an addiction he couldn’t shake. The guilt was heavy. He’d made promises to another that she would be the only one he ever loved yet he felt betrayal daily because his heart was now beating in sync with someone else.
“If things had been different that night, you think you would still feel the same?” Asao asked, staring at his father with a frustrated expression locked on his face.
Leedren took one look at his son and understood the question. The havoc Asao and his boys rained down on the city was whispered for weeks. Leedren knew about the devastation Asao had suffered behind the young love lost. He wouldn’t dare allow his mind to embrace the idea of a world without his wife, but for his son, he accepted that as a possibility, so he could hand over an honest answer.
“Yes.”
Asao’s frustration intensified and he dropped his head back against the seat until his father’s voice returned.
“But my situation isn’t yours. We made promises to each other. Our vows and the life we created changed things between us, son. I know you cared about that girl. Shit, you might have even loved her, but you can’t live tied to a past of uncertainty.”
Asao closed his eyes and nodded. “I get that but the shit is only uncertain because of decisions I made. She would be here…”
“Maybe,” Leedren cut in, causing Asao to turn to his father with a harsh glare but he kept going. “You don’t know what her life would have been. The only thing we can control are our actions. Those men made a decision. It was about you, yeah. I’m not gonna pretend that things could have been different had you lived different but she knew who you were. She chose to love you, to be in your life, to accept everything that came with who you were. You can hurt and you can have regrets but you can’t carry it all on your shoulders.”
“It can’t be on hers. She isn’t here…”
Leedren nodded in understanding. “You’re not gonna ask me the question that’s on your heart, son, but I’ll still give you the answers you’re looking for.”
Asao was a man grounded in loyalty. He still honored the promises he’d made as a young man who had no understanding of the weight those promises made when attached to a life that wasn’t guaranteed. Leedren respected that his son was torn by those promises—because it meant that he had a heart—but he also didn’t want his son living in the past.
“If she wants your heart and you feel she deserves it, let it be hers. It’s really that simple, Sao. And you’re asking, so that means you already know she’s meant to be yours. Don’t complicate the decision. Love is complicated enough without adding to that shit.” Leedren laughed arrogantly and glanced at the house again, considering his present situation.
Asao’s mood lightened and he smirked. “I can do that.”
With a jerk of his chin, Leedren yanked at the door to let himself out. They walked to the porch and Asao handed his father a key. Another way he’d considered his father. The simple gesture allowed him the space to step back into the role as the head of their family.
Asao stepped inside behind Leedren. The smell of food danced around them and he smirked, knowing that his mother had prepared a feast she assumed would be for her son. Asao let her know he was coming by but left out the reason why, at his father’s insistence.
“She cooked.” Leedren frowned at Asao who nodded.
“You know how she gets down. I told her I was coming. She was gonna make sure to feed me. She doesn’t know you’re here.”
“Not much has changed I see,” Leedren mumbled through a smile, when in his mind he was detailing how false that statement was. He was a different man, one he prayed she would accept back into her life.
“Nah, not really.”
“Sao…” his mother’s voice called from the hallway before her face came into view. She paused her steps and almost stumbledto a stop before her lips trembled and her hands shook at her sides.
“Lee…” she said quietly and he nodded, as if he needed to confirm what she already knew. “You’re home.”
“Yeah, baby.” He kept his tone even before he closed the space between them and placed his hand on the side of her face. “If you’ll have me.”
