He shook his head sharply.“It’s okay.Sometimes we just have to say it like it is.I’ve thought a lot about why I got so fucking irritable for years after all of it.Sometimes I think it’s just acknowledging we’ve been through some shit together and alone, and we’ve all handled it in our own way.But one thing, at least for me, is that I know what it means to lose someone I love.That’s fucking scary.I know how much Kendall already means to you.”
My fear was clawing inside of me, but I forced myself to breathe.“Yeah.I guess I didn’t really think it through.”
“But how would you feel if you didn’t give yourself this chance with Kendall, knowing how much she means to you?And always has.”
That was a different kind of panic.Because if something happened to Kendall or me, and I just let this chance drift away, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.I shook my head slightly, clasping the back of my neck.Obviously, the details were different.Elsa had been gone for years when she returned.But still, I knew how Haven would feel if he’d missed his chance with her.
“That would fucking suck,” I said flatly.“Way to make it count.”
“I’ll never stop wondering about what it means when we lose people.But if there’s one thing I know, make it fucking count for those you love,” he said.
I pondered my older brother’s words off and on for the rest of the afternoon.Once you lost someone who really mattered, the stakes became higher in life, for yourself, and for anyone you loved in the present or the future.
That evening, I drove over to pick Kendall up at the barn.When she came walking out, her curls in a messy ponytail, her eyes bright, and Travis circling her legs before he came barreling over to me, I knew.
Iabsolutelyknew I didn’t want to lose this chance with her.
I’d be terrified every step of the way, but it was worth the risk.
I stopped in front of her and didn’t even hesitate.I caught her hand in mine, reeled her close, and whispered, “Hey, sweetheart,” against her lips.
ChapterThirty-Two
Kendall
The connection between me and Jude was like a pebble dropped into a pond, with the ripples endlessly looping into each other.I hadn’t expected him to kiss me when he showed up, and my body was on fire, liquid and melting, as we drove the short distance from the rescue barn over to Heartfire Falls Resort.
“You expect me to play it cool and have dinner with your family?”I finally managed to say, still breathless from that kiss.
His chuckle spun through me, throwing sparks in the fire banked inside.He reached over, catching my hand in his and lifting it to his mouth to dust a kiss on the back of it.
“Yes, I do.”He turned into the parking area in front of the resort.“I’m just realizing it’s important to grab this with both hands and hold on tight.I don’t want to take it slow.I don’t want to play it cool.I already knew I loved you.Back to your place tonight?”
When his eyes met mine as he brought the truck to a stop and put it in park, the heat there sent my belly into a spinning flip.
“Haven knows,” he added.
“He knows?”I squeaked.
“I think everybody’s already known we’ve been in love with each other for years.Let’s not play it secret.Let’s walk in there and just be what maybe we should’ve been a lot sooner.”
“What’s that?”I asked breathlessly.
“Two best friends in love.”
The emotion rushed up inside of me so fast I had to blink away the tears.
“Hey,” he said, leaning over to palm my cheek, swiping a tear away on one cheek and then the other with his thumb.
“It’s okay.They’re happy tears.I’m just—” I sucked in a shaky breath.“Overwhelmed.”
As I held his gaze, it felt as if he was trying to pass the confidence he had about us into me.“If you feel differently—” he started.
I shook my head.“I don’t.It’s what I want too.I really mean that.”
Jude gave me a quick, firm kiss.When we walked inside a moment later, he was holding my hand.Cole happened to be coming down one of the side hallways and saw us.His eyes dropped down, and his lips stretched into a slow smile.
“About time, you two,” he said with a chuckle.
