Finn said there’s a raise in it for me and that he appreciates all my hard work.He’s let his guard down a bit and is more comfortable with me spending time with Jasmine unsupervised.He’s finally given me the go-ahead to clean his bedroom and bathroom, which he hasn’t wanted to me do.I plan to get started on that today.
I can understand his hesitation.The line was blurred for a while between us.I think Finn felt uncomfortable letting me in his private space when he couldn’t make up his mind about who I was to him—his housekeeper or the woman he wanted to have sex with.But now that the line has been crystal clear for weeks, the master suite is fair game for the housekeeper to tackle.
And that’s me.I’m his housekeeper.
I really do feel at home.Yosemite Ranch feels likemyhome.I wasn’t even sure I’d recognize my home if I ever found it, since my definition of homelife comes from rerun TV.
But I feel it.And it feels beyond wonderful.
I stretch my arms over my head and give myself five more minutes of king-sized luxury before I’m back at it.
I have no complaints.
Life has fallen into a rhythm.I drive to town a couple times a week to do the shopping.Finn has given me carte blanche to stock the kitchen with whatever I want, though he and Jasmine do make requests from time to time.Asparagus will never get within ten feet of Jasmine’s plate, but she loves my braised sirloin tips with new potatoes and my creamy sausage pasta with spinach.
She was brave enough to try a bite of my roasted balsamic Brussels sprouts with bacon and pineapple.She wasn’t a fan.
Finn was, though.He ate nearly the whole baking sheet and has asked for it again.
Phyllis sometimes joins me on shopping runs, and we always build in time to stop at the local diner for pie and coffee.She is the grandmother I never had.Phyllis is probably the grandmother most people never had.She’s also become my best friend.
Finn has even asked me to drive Jasmine to school starting next week, which proves that he trusts me.I’ve become a very good driver, not to brag.Melvin may have gotten me started by less-than-legit methods, but I’ve learned a lot about the rules of the road since my exam.I even like driving.
However, when it comes to Finn and me…
It’s been awkward.In the days after the “kiss that shall not be mentioned,” we took great pains to avoid each other.We barely spoke.We just went about our work and remained civil to each other, even ate meals together, but it’s definitely been frosty.
I’ve accepted it, though.That kiss was one for the record books.I realize it’s doomed me to a lifetime of kissing disappointment.If I ever get another kiss, it won’t compare.No kiss will ever top the one I experienced in the barn.
At least I had a kiss like that once in my life.I can die knowing what it’s like to have the living daylights kissed out of you by the man of your dreams.
Most girls can’t say that.
You go, Emma.
I’ve done everything in my power to seem cool and collected around Finn.Not a single hint of desperation.I save the hot desperation for when I’m alone in my bed at night and I can touch myself, make myself cum just remembering the “kiss that shall not be mentioned” and all the incredibly hot sex that was just moments away.
That was no fantasy.I felt him.I saw him.His cock was big and hard.What I felt poking into my belly was no figment of my imagination.Finn wanted me.His eyes were dark with hunger for me.
He was all over me and I was all over him.I forgot where I was or who I was.When Finn was on top of me, the pressure of his hot and hard body was all I knew, all I needed.
My legs were wrapped around him.I wanted him so fucking bad.I was ready to give him anything.
Everything.
And Finn freaked out.
I know it was about his wife.He said it was about me being his employee, but I don’t buy it.He can’t let go of her, and that’s understandable.No one can ever replace her.I get it.I certainly can’t.I’m just me.And that’s okay.
I haven’t seen any hint that Finn wants another kiss.There’s just… nothing.His va va voom has left the building.Actually, he’s still got a crap ton of va va voom, but none of it is directed at me.
But there’s so much to be grateful for.I haven’t seen that angry expression again on his face.He doesn’t look at me like he hates me.In fact, he never looks at me at all.But he’s friendly and kind and hospitable.He seems pleased to see me in the morning, thanks me for each meal I prepare, and tells me to sleep well at night.
Of course it’s not enough.It’s not what I want.But I am thankful for what I have.
CHAPTER 38
Emma
