I hearher.
As clear as day, I hear my beloved Amy speak to me.Four words.
Be happy, my love.
I gasp, wheeling around on my knees, absolutely sure that somebody is pranking me.But I’m alone.It’s just me, the family cemetery, and the breeze.
And the butterfly.
“I’m sorry, Amy!”I jump to my feet and spin around.Finally, I can apologize.Amy can hear me!“I’m sorry I—”
Be happy, Finn.
With them both.
I freeze.
What the actual fuck is happening?
And just like that, some sort of cosmic switch gets flipped.The breeze stops, the whisper of the leaves ceases, and the blue butterfly is gone, though I didn’t see it fly away.
I open my mouth to say more, but Amy has gone, too.I feel it.She said what I needed to hear most and left me to it.
Eventually, I leave the cemetery, stunned, tingling from the top of my head to the soles of my feet.I take my time walking home because I know I need to regroup.I’m a raw nerve open to the elements, like I’ve touched a live wire.
I think maybe I have.
With each tap of my boot against the earth, a kind of peace washes over me.I no longer feel the sharp blade in my gut.The wound is healing, being filled with the promise of something good.
From the here and now.The present.
That was the gift my Amy just gave to me.The freedom to live in the present.
To be happy.
With them both.
Now all I have to do is figure out a way to make it happen.I know it won’t be easy to win Emma back after what I’ve just done.I can be such a massive fuckhead sometimes.
I stop in my tracks.
What if I don’tdoany of those things?No figuring out.No making or trying or winning.What if, instead, I give Emma the time and space to choose what she wants here?
If she wants to give me another chance, she’ll let me know.And if she doesn’t, she’ll let me know that, too.
Doing nothing isn’t my standard operating procedure.It’s alien to me.I’ve been called a control freak at times in my life.Like from the day I was born until today.
Standing back and letting things fall into place—or not—is a fucking terrifying concept.But maybe it’s time to try something new.
CHAPTER 37
Emma
It’s another beautiful morning at Yosemite Ranch, and I am grateful to be here.
I wish I could say all is wonderful.It’s not.But for the last three weeks, all has been well, and for now, it’s more than I could ever have hoped for.
My background check revealed nothing, as I knew it would.Juvenile court records in Nevada are confidential.My week of housekeeper probation is over, and I have another week to go until I hit my one month on the job and all the probation is behind me.
