Honestly, if I had to choose just one brother to listen to me pour my heart out, it would be Kevin.The rest of them would want to strategize, then tell me what to do to fix it, and then list all the required steps, in order.Special K isn’t usually like that.
“Want me to bounce?”
I press the heels of my palms into my eyeballs but shake my head to the negative.
The other good thing about Kevin is that he doesn’t require chit-chat.He’ll just sit there like a boulder and let the world spin around him until he decides he’s had enough.And when he gets to that point, he walks out, usually without a goodbye.
It takes a minute, but eventually I inhale a lungful of air and raise my head.Then I collapse against the back of the sofa and slouch.
“You fire your housekeeper?”
I snap my head around to him.“Of course not.Why would you think that?”
He crooks his thumb toward the door.“’Cause she ran away, about to cry.I figured you’d either fired her or were making out with her.I started with the least horrible option.”
“Fuck me.”
“Making out, then.Cool.”
“Or not.”I jump up again, needing to pace, needing to pound my forehead against the paneling until I knock some sense into myself.Special K watches me march back and forth, his head on a swivel like he’s at a tennis match.
“You’re giving me whiplash.”
I stop.I stand in the middle of the tack room with my fingers laced behind my head.I don’t know what’s wrong with me, how I got so completely blindsided by Emma Clark.
I don’t usually think with my dick.But with Emma, my dick is always thinking, making travel plans, singing and dancing like it’s rehearsing for a one-man show.
Special K clears his throat.“It’s been eight years since Amy died, Finlay.”
Hate lasers shoot out of my eyeballs and strike him in the face.
“Hey,” he says, holding up his hands.“Just an observation, man.”
“Never once, K!Neveroncehave I even been tempted by someone else.You know I’ve dated women.”
He nods.
“I’m not a fucking Trappist monk.”
He nods some more.
“But this woman… what the fuck is wrong with me?I don’t even know the first thing about her.All I see is what a good heart she has, and how she’s overcome shit so harsh that she doesn’t even want to talk about it.She’s beautiful, obviously.And she’s really great with Jasmine.”
He nods slower this time.
“And she sleeps right down the fucking hall and I’m going fucking insane.”
Special K is no longer nodding.He’s wincing.
“What?”
“Nuthin’.”
“Oh, comeon!What is it?If you have something to say, just say it.”
“Fine.You’ve known her for three days.”
“I know!You think I don’t know how fucking ridiculous I sound?I’m the best dad on the planet, K!I have never, ever, wanted a woman to hang around Jasmine.Amy is her mother!I want Amy to live on in her memory without any confusion or competition!”
