And I’d be as angry at myself for that as Stella is, if a whole other feeling hadn’t completely taken over my heart, brain, soul, and every inch of my body.
A feeling that was born this morning. In my tiny bathroom with tiles so old, the dirt now a part of the design no matterhow much I scrub them, peeling linoleum floors that were there before I was born, and the mirror that is one crack away from completely shattering. The same mirror I kept staring at as I waited for the longest three minutes of my life to pass.
I had to know.
I had to make sure.
Because missing a period here and there isn’t out of the norm for me, especially since my irregular diet, grueling ice-skating practices, and stress are my norm and all affected my hormones. But missing it for three months straight is anything but normal.
After spending another week in complete denial, I finally caved and bought the test.
The one that is burning a hole inside both my head and my bag in the locker room, with two bright pink lines on it.
“Is it Aaron again?” Stella asks quietly, and for the first time in my life, I wish I could say I’ve been out of it because of my brother’s antics. Because as bad as the stuff he gets himself and me by association into is nothing compared to the whole life growing inside me right now.
The life that was unexpected and unplanned by either myself or my boyfriend, Joey.
I shake my head, “No, it’s not Aaron.”
“Well, thank God for small miracles,” Stella huffs. “Is it Seth?”
I shake my head again. “No, Dad is still doing all right.” My father had been diagnosed with Huntington’s disease five years ago and despite his slowly deteriorating state, he is still doing good. All things considered. And all the meds Aaron manages to steal from him.
“So?”
“So?” I parrot, chewing out those two letters slowly as if I have no idea what we’re talking about here.
“Don’t be cute with me, Rory. Spill.” Stella Gray is a no-nonsense kind of woman and God forbid she shows you that softheart of hers she holds under lock and key from her stern iron-clad personality. But she has one, despite many not believing it.
I am one of a very few people lucky enough to know about it, and it makes this situation all the harder.
Not ready to admit the truth to her—or myself—I swallow and shake my head, looking down at the ice to avoid her eyes. I’m not ready to see the disappointment in them. And not just as my trainer because Stella has never beenjusta trainer.
She’s my savior. The only one to believe in me when everyone around simply forgot I existed or desperately wished for that.
“Fine.” Her tone is as sharp as a whip, and I know I’ve deserved it. “Run the routine again.”
Without any other comments, I do it again and again, messing up each time worse than the one before, until Stella’s had enough. She benches me and walks away to oversee Electra’s routine without asking what’s wrong again.
She knows I’ll come when I’m ready, just like I know she’ll be waiting for meto beready.
It’s kind of a game we started playing back when I was just a child. I saw her skating out on the Iris Lake one day when I was about five years old, hiding all over the town from my older brother who was determined to ruin my life since the day I was born.
If Dad wasn’t home, I knew I better not be either, or Aaron would make me regret it. So, I was simply planning to hide like I always did, dream of a life where I had pretty clothes, some candies, and a mom…
But instead of those ridiculous dreams I knew better than to have, I fell in love with ice skating just by watching the pretty woman on the ice.
That was the day Stella Gray handed me the keys to my future, my dream—and I never wasted a single second in opening doorafter door ever since, walking straight to the biggest thing there was.
That was until this morning.
Because now I have to make a decision I’m not sure I’m ready for, and what about Joey…God, I have to tell him as well. How is he going to feel about being a dad at nineteen?
My head falls to my hands as I brace them on my knees.
No, my head isnoton the ice today.
“It’s good to see you, Aurora,” my gynecologist, Dr. Filipa, says as she walks into the exam room I was waiting in.
