“Well, he is so let’s focus on getting you back to a place of smiles and sunshine. Come on. I just baked some special cookies. Have a few and talk to me for a while.” She intertwined her hand with mine and gently pulled me along to the living room.
Empathy Emporium was the women’s retreat in Florida I discovered and disappeared to every now and again. From the moment I stepped onto the premises, I felt something in me shift. It was like telling a stranger what you been through instead of your family gave a lighter vibe. The weight wasn’t as heavy of being judged every time you entered a room.
Niyani was such a humbled and inviting spirit that I clung to her almost instantly. She was another dark-skinned woman with beautiful features of her own. Where I was small and petite, she was tall and thick all the way around. Her breast and ass was twice the size of mine. She had the body many went under the knife for. Nevertheless, being a woman landed us in a world of trauma.
My past incident had my mind, body, and soul stuck in a place of pure darkness. I was trying my hardest to find solidground, but it was almost like I was back at square one. I didn’t understand how I was backtracking so fast. I thought I was making progress, but it seemed as if I wasn’t.
Flopping down on the sofa, I tucked my feet under me and cuddled with the pillow to the right of me. The resort consisted of six cottages and one main hall. Each cottage had four bedrooms where it was two staff members and two patients. This was a place for us to recenter ourselves and tackle certain triggers. I was confused as to what was even triggering me besides the anniversary of my incident.
I thought on everything I’d done lately to escalate my nightmares and the only thing I could think of was listening to Niyani when she claimed that party was going to be a small shindig. There were too many bodies there and it didn’t help that every time I turned around in that damn club someone was touching me. Either they were circling my waist and moving me out the way or laying a hand on my lower back as they approached the bar. It was too much for mw to handle.
As soon as she walked into the living room with the snacks, I went off. “Heffa, this is your fault. That club you took me to still have me uncomfortable as fuck.”
“This is not my fault Heidi and stop fussing. Eat a cookie and relax.”
She picked up one from the tray and shoved it in my mouth. She was sick of me getting on her, but I wasn’t done with the situation just yet. She lied to me, and I ain’t like that.
I came down to Florida a week early to spend some one-on-one time with her away from the resort. I was promised a good time and had one until the night of the party. That took place a day before locking ourselves in here. The scenery was triggering, there was no other way to put it.
I bit the cookie and went back to fussing. She wasn’t about to shut me up so easily. “No because you never listen to me Niyani. I know my limitations. Respect them, please.”
She threw her hands up in surrender saying, “I won’t push anymore. I heard it got packed out in there after we dipped out so leaving was the best choice. I apologize again for that. I just wanted to end the week on a good note.”
I sighed and finished the cookie off before grabbing the remote off the coffee table and turned on the television. It was three o’clock in the morning and we were up like it was midday. Then again, we were always the last ones to fall asleep around here. She picked a fine time to bake cookies I know that much.
“Thank you for this friend. I’ve been trying to find an alternative than being high as a kite all the time. Weed seems to be the only thing keeping me relaxed and my thoughts offthatthough. I know I walk around smelling like a pound,” I said rolling my eyes in the process. Smoking was something Royce suggested and surprisingly, it helped.
“I think you should speak with Dr. Wright about it. She’s gave you good exercises so far,” she suggested.
“Dr. Wright is taking my money for free while thinking she’s giving me tips. I’m here for peace and quiet… and infused baked goods from the one and only Niyani Hicks. You need to start a business; I keep telling you that.” I was deflecting when I truly didn’t have to. Ni never judged me for being so emotional and broken.
“I’m working on it. I’m thinking about joining you in Sage Springs to be exact. I need a new scenery. Florida is starting to bore me.”
Having someone other than the Atkins would be nice. However, if she was running away from her problems, they’d still be there even in little old Sage Springs. Niyani was a Florida native and everyone that meant somebody to her was here.I didn’t want her thinking moving to Sage Springs without a support system was best. If she was a hundred percent ready to leave these oranges behind, then I’d be there every step of the way.
“Bore you? Sage Springs is no better, trust me.”
“What’s up with that best friend of yours? He still single? Maybe he can show me around town or whatnot,” she spoke delivering a sly smirk.
“Royce is married with kids and so is his brother. You picked a fine time to ask.” I reached for another cookie off the tray and bit into it.
“Damn. I’m always late to the damn function. Well, who else is left. I want a nigga with a wallet too,” she whined.
“Too? I don’t have a man at all so where’s that coming from?”
“Girl please. I might be trying to see what’s up with him jokingly, but Royce is your man. You said he does everything for you, right? So, what we talking ‘bout? He set you up on his compound, pays all your bills, upgrades your car every year, and includes you on every vacation he takes. I don’t care who that man is married to, you’re where his heart lies.”
Placing the cookie down on a napkin, I sat up and cleared my throat. I played about a lot of shit, but when it came to Royce, I didn’t let his name take any kind of blows. He was a damned good man, and his genuineness was more than anyone else’s I’d ever ran into.
“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this, but me and Royce are nothing more than friends. What he does for me is nothing compared to what he does for his wife and kids. That man looks at Klarity as if she’s God’s gift to him personally. That nigga speaks to God every day thanking him for that woman. I am nothing more than a piece to that man’s delusional ass puzzle. However, Klarity sits in the center of it. Don’t everdisrespect their marriage in front of me, Niyani,” I voiced with a steady and stern tone.
Her facial expression was one that saidmy bad bitch. I knew she was only speaking freely but that was how rumors started. Royce, and I dealt with plenty of them growing up. He was happily married, and Klarity was my sister. I refused to let our platonic friendship be casted as anything but that.
“Touchy, touchy. Bitch, I was just joking around, but I see you get real serious ‘bout that nigga. I’ll keep his name out my mouth,” she said gesturing a zipper across her lips, locking it, then tossing away the key.
“Please do,” I replied getting back to the sweet treat.
“Tuh,” she scoffed shaking her head.
