Aidan’s gaze flicks to mine and we exchange knowing looks. Whatever hell we were imagining Azula would bring down on our uncle likely pales into comparison to what she was thinking of now.
“Start with all of Lorkan’s allies who would rather see him in charge than Declan. I wouldn’t be surprised if he agreed tocollaborate with the Italians or Russians in their trafficking routes in exchange for their help to put him in power,” I order Azula and Aidan. The former looks at me skeptically but eventually agrees to my demand.
“Let’s go, pretty boy. It’s time to make up for your mistake of letting your uncle get away,” Azula growls, not waiting to see if Aidan listens to her before exiting the room.
Aidan looks at me, incredulous.
I nod my head in the direction of the door. “Do as she says. And maybe try actually working with her instead of going at each other’s throats. I have a feeling that if you two put aside whatever bullshit is going on between you, you’d find Lorkan in a matter of days. If not hours.”
Aidan scoffs and rolls his eyes, but eventually he gives in, giving my shoulder a hard squeeze and Zahra a quick look of sorrow before following Azula. Not that my wife notices.
From the moment I handed Zahra my uncle’s phone, she’d been inspecting it. I’m no hacker, but I doubt whatever she’s really looking for will just magically appear on the surface of the phone. Still, she refuses to move. Refuses to have her eyes on anything else but the target in front of her, like a cheetah staying crouched behind blades of grass before finally going in for the kill.
I adjust my hand so it now sits on her hip instead of the small of her back, and give it a gentle but firm squeeze. My intentions are to snap her out of her trance, but I also can’t help but notice how soft she is or how her breath hitches in response to my touch.
Zahra’s eyes snap up to meet mine as her tongue peeks out and traces her pouty lips. She drops the hand that’s holding the phone to her side and places her free hand on my chest, right on top of my heart. “I’m going to need time to hack into this phone.”
“I know.”
“We don’t have time,” Zahra says, exasperated. Desperate.
The urge to make her feel better overwhelms me. I tilt her chin up with my index finger, forcing her to look at me. “Zahra. So long as you are in this house, with me here, I promise you are safe. No one, not my uncle or his allegiance of vulture-doting morons, will lay a single finger on you. I will stand guard outside your door every second of the day, handcuff myself to you, or do whatever it is you need me to do so you’ll feel safe.”
Zahra’s lips quirk up as her expression softens. “Handcuffs sound complicated, but I can’t deny that I’m intrigued.”
The flirtatious shift in her tone would have caught me off guard if not for the intimate moments we’d shared just a mere hour ago. I have no doubts that if Aidan and Azula hadn’t burst our safe little bubble when they did, I would have confessed all my feelings to Zahra. How I wanted her to know that everything between us had been real for me. That I knew deep down, it’d been real for her too.
She leans into my touch for a moment, but nowhere near as long as I need. Cupping her chin in my palm, I bring her face closer until my lips brush against hers.
A soft whimper leaves her lips, and my desire to taste her is palpable. As is my frustration as she gives her head a shake, and pulls back from me. “I have to start working on cracking Lorkan’s cellphone. My mind won’t stop racing until I’ve made some progress.”
The rational part of my mind is in agreement, but my cock is painfully strained against my pants, begging me not to listen. In the end, Zahra’s look of determination is enough to call to my practical side. I sever any touch between us, knowing that the longer we stay close to each other, the less I’ll be able to control myself I don’t miss the lust in Zahra’s eyes asshe looks at me, or the clear quickening of her pulse as I lean in and whisper, “Soon, my sweet wife, you’re going to lose all that control you have and let yourself take what you want. And when you do, I’ll be more than ready to give it to you.”
I walk away before I lose what small amount of composure I have left, relishing in the gasp that falls from her lips and the step she takes toward me as I leave.
36
DECLAN
Iknew Zahra’s determination was boundless, but I didn’t expect to only see her for a few minutes over the past three days despite living in the same house. If it wasn’t for me bringing her meals and making sure she was drinking enough water, I likely wouldn’t have seen her at all. The only good news is that Zahra was right—my uncle hadn’t had time to wipe his phone as he frantically packed up his life and fucked off to who knows where.
The terminology and mechanics of what Zahra is doing are way beyond me, but from what I gathered, she was able to see that his phone was filled with various folders, notes, and text messages. The only problem is that everything on his phone is protected by a strong encryption that even Zahra is unfamiliar with. Which means one wrong attempt at cracking the code of my uncle’s phone will likely trigger a series of protections that would delete everything we’ve been trying to get access to. Zahra has spent the past few days trying to identify any signatures from other hackers she’d encountered in the past, withthe hopes that it would clue her into weaknesses. She hasn’t had any success yet.
Just like I haven’t had much success in convincing her not to stay up super late every night. Instead I always stopped by her office, wished her goodnight, and relished in the small moment she would set down her computer and smile up at me.
While I enjoy that Zahra has been accepting my help and letting me take care of her, the fact that I've only seen small glimpses of her the past few days is driving me crazy. Especially given the last time we talked, we were mere moments away from letting go of all our inhibitions and giving into our desires.
And after months of push and pull between us, I'm not sure how much longer I can remain patient before I snap and beg her to let me have my way. Because if it comes down to it, I will get on my knees and beg. Beg for her to let me in. Beg for her to let me taste her. Beg her to treat the union between us as a real marriage, because as far as I'm concerned it is.
Dragging my feet, I head to my bedroom and glare at the cold, empty bed that should be filled with Zahra's warmth. Every night that we've lived together, I've found myself having to ignore the devilish voice inside my head that yells at me to grab my wife and have her sleep beside me. Taking off my clothes, leaving only my boxers, I climb into bed and groan, knowing tonight will end the same as any other. With me sleeping alone.
I startle awake at the loud whooshing sound of the wind outside, as it causes a large tree branch to slam against my window. New England winters are notorious for being longand brutal and this year is no different. Still, I can't recall the last time I'd actually been woken up by some of the chaos outside. Perfect. I've always struggled to fall asleep once woken, so I have no doubts tonight will be long.
I flop back in fourth in my bed, trying—and failing—to find a spot that's so comfortable it will magically put me back to sleep. Fucking perfect. I’m barely sleeping as it is with the entire world imploding around me. This is the last thing I need.
I’m not typically one to self-medicate with alcohol, but at this rate, I’ll try anything if it helps me get back to sleep.
Standing outside my office, I begin to type in the password on the keypad so I can enter, when I realize the doors are already unlocked. My guard goes up in an instant and my hand instinctively goes to the gun that I tucked away in the back of my boxers when I left my room. My mother used to always say my father was being paranoid when he refused to be anywhere, including his own bedroom, without at least some protection, but I always thought it was smart. You never know who will come for you. Or when. Best to have your guards up at all times.
