Ilose track of how long Zahra falls apart in my arms. Her tears come thick and fast, not letting up once since she started. I temper down the impulse to say or do something other than just hold onto her. I would give her my words of comfort once her tears started to slow, but for now, she needs to feel it. Needs to get it all out. Her sobs are filled with pain, agony, and sadness. Each cry she lets out is followed by a deep breath. One that I can tell centers her, over and over again. Eventually, the sobs turn into sniffles, and I press my cheek to the top of her head.
“How are you feeling, love?”
“Like a complete mess.” She laughs, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. “But also like the hole in my heart isn’t as deep as it has been.”
“Good. That’s good.” I curse myself for not being able to come up with anything beyond those small words, but Zahra doesn’t seem to mind. “Can I ask what made you feel better?”
Her bottom lip trembles. “Thinking aboutmy dad. All the happy memories I had with him. I hate that he’s not here with me now…”
“I know. No one can ever replace him.” The same way nothing could ever replace my father.
“That’s true. Though I have a strong feeling he would agree with you on one thing.” Her lips twitch up, only the hint of a smile.
“Which is?”
“That I deserve to be happy. Even though he’s no longer here to see it.” She sniffles, putting on a brave face.
“You do. You deserve that and more. And when you forget it, I’m more than happy to remind you.” I cup her face in my hands, relishing in the way she leans into my touch…and bracing myself for the inevitable moment she pulls back.
While Zahra has finally let some of her guards down, I know most of her walls are still in place. Still, I can’t help but celebrate this win. She’s finally let herselffeel. Finally, she accepted that she doesn’t have to be in a perpetual state of mourning and that she’s not selfish for wanting to experience some joy in her life. Now all she has to do is act on it. Until she does, I will be here waiting. I’ll only take what she offers. For as much as she says she’s ready to live, she hasn’t said the words I want to hear the most. That she wants tolivewithme.
Zahra stays in my embrace, and I’m convinced I could stand here forever. I have no idea whether it's been minutes or hours in our quiet bubble but eventually I hear a mix of voices yelling at each other outside the trainer’s room. We separate immediately, a frown taking over my face, as we head back inside the gym.
Zahra and I freeze as we watch Azula grabs Aidan by the neck and slam him against the mirror of the gym.
“Don’t youdare, get started with me, Aidan. I’m not theone who fucked up and let your shithead of an uncle get away,” she spits, digging her sharpened nails into his skin.
“How many times do I have to tell you? He was already gone by the time I got there.Now, let go of me,” he growls the last bit through gritted teeth.
Zahra’s eyes narrow, and in an instant, she turns back into a boss. “If you’re trying to scare Azula, you have another thing coming. There’s not a single thing in the world that throws Azula off a hunt. And that is exactly what she’s doing now. Hunting down the man who tried to kill me, and anyone who gets in the way.”
Aidan opens his mouth, but nothing comes out beyond a struggled gasp for air.
“Azula. Let him go,” Zahra demands. Azula’s lips peel back in a snarl as she releases Aidan, but not before giving him one final squeeze with the tips of her nails. Neither of us misses the way he winces in response.
“Have you ever considered putting a leash on your guard dog?” Aidan snaps uncharacteristically. Azula always manages to bring out his snarky side.
“Careful, Aidan, Azula’s bite is much worse than her bark,” Zahra warns. “So Lorkan was gone by the time you arrived?”
Aidan gives her a quick nod. “His entire estate was a ghost town. None of his groundskeepers or staff were around. I imagine someone tipped him off. The good news is that an empty estate means I was able to rummage through his office. His passports and emergency cash were all gone. I was able to find his phone though. I’m surprised he left it.”
Aidan reaches into his pocket and pulls out Lorkan’s phone, handing it to me so I can inspect it. “That seems like an incredibly reckless move. One that I doubt he would make, especially if he made sure his entire staff was also gone by the time you got there.”
“Maybe it wasn’t reckless. Maybe it was intentional,” Zahra muses, taking the phone from me. “He probably figured I’d be able to hack into his phone and track him. Which would be a correct assumption. But maybe he still left something of value on this.”
“You don’t think he scrubbed it?” I ask.
“It’s possible. But if he left in a rush, the odds are he did a sloppy job. So there may be some things I can salvage.” Her eyebrows knit together as she stares at the phone with intense determination, like hacking into the phone will solve all our problems. I don’t want to trample on any lingering hope she still has, but the news of my uncle’s betrayal has rocked me to my core. Everything I knew was a lie. Except for Zahra. She has made it more than clear how she’ll always be by my side.
“How long will it take you to crack it?” Azula asks.
“I don’t know. Either way, we’re still behind. Lorkan’s gone and we have no idea where he is, who he’s talking to, or who could be protecting him,” Zahra groans, dragging a hand through her hair.
Instinctively, I place a hand on the small of her back and bring her closer to me. “We’ll find him. Dead or alive. I promise you.”
Zahra gives me a quick nod, but the tension in her body remains.
“Alive would be ideal. A quick death isn’t a mercy he deserves. And I’ll make sure that he pays for it.” Azula sneers, voice laced with venom and rage.
