“Yeah, so am I.”
“Anything else I should know, or do, that could be helpful?” Jake pulls up to the curb outside of my place.
“Just be patient with me. Even on my good days I still have my moments. Anxiety never goes away, and to some extent, that’s a good thing. Normal levels of anxiety are evolutionarily adaptive, which is why everyone experiences it at some point in their life. It’s just at the heightened levels where I feel consumed by it, like you saw that one night, when I lose control of my coping strategies. You being there helped. And doing things I enjoy. Anxious feelings can exist, and I can still engagein behaviors that make me feel fulfilled. Or at least that’s what my therapist keeps telling me.”
Jake smiles and then hesitates.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Well it’s just that you mentioned doing things you enjoy, and in the entire time I’ve known you all you’ve done is work.”
I freeze. I couldn’t exactly deny that, but the truth is, “Well I really enjoy my work. Especially research. It makes me happy.”
“Sure. I totally get that. It’s how I feel about hockey. But research and hockey are also careers for us. We can enjoy them, but they’re more than just hobbies or things we do to decompress. You don’t really do things that are just for you.” His tone is very matter-of-fact.
“Guilty as charged.” I attempt to joke, but it doesn’t really land.
“Maybe I can help you brainstorm things to do for fun. Any thoughts on video games?”
“Um I’m really bad at Mario Kart, and that’s the only game I’ve played so…”
“Got it, okay. Are you into crafting? Charlotte really likes knitting. I call her a grandma all the time, but she has made me some pretty nice beanies.”
“Mm I tried it once and made a sweater with no arm holes.”
“Alright well let’s scrap that idea then. Let me think…”
“I have always wanted to write a murder mystery novel. I actually wrote a few chapters like two years ago and I think about adding more at least once a week. Just never have the time.” I shrug.
“Well maybe you should make the time. I would love to read what your twisted little mind comes up with.” He winks.
“Maybe I will.” I smile as Jake pulls up to my apartment and follows me inside, where we run into Nicole.
“Wow so youarealive? I was about to call campus police and report you missing.” She raises an eyebrow at my outfit (Jake’s sweater, as my dress still needed to be washed).
“Hey, I promised I’d get her back home safe.” Jake gasps in mock offense.
“Which is why I was also going to report you as the prime suspect,” Nicole deadpans.
“Just when I thought we were becoming close, you lose faith in me again.”
“In my defense, you set the bar in literal Hell. You can’t be surprised by how much more work you have to put in before being in my good graces.”
“Well you should know I never back down from a challenge,” Jake warns. “Especially when it comes to ensuring my girl’s best friend likes me.”
Nicole shoots me a look that screams, “Is this guy for real?”, followed by a small smile when Jake isn’t looking. To an outsider, it would appear like my best friend hated my boyfriend, but I knew better. Phase 1 of Nicole starting to warm up to a person and enjoy their company always included her giving them a ton of shit. Like an unofficial hazing or testing of limits and buttons she could push. Jake’s ability to let whatever’s thrown at him roll off his shoulders was definitely winning him some points in her book.
“We’ll be out of your hair soon. I’m just grabbing a few things and then heading back to Jake’s,” I announced nonchalantly, knowing a barrage of questions was about to follow.
As I head into my room. I hear the door shut and turn around to see Nicole with her arms crossed. “You really didn’t think you’d be able to just walk away from me without giving some answers, did you?”
“I had hoped you’d be a bit distracted with… whoever is here.” I reference to the heels and fancy coat strewn across our living room that don’t belong to me or Nicole.
“Oh, don’t you worry. I always have time for my best friend. Especially when I catch her in the middle of a walk of shame.”
“I wouldn’t call it a walk of shame,” I protest.
“AND she announces that she’s now dating Jake Keeley. The same guy she’s been “tutoring” and a few months ago wanted to push in front of a Green Line train?—”
