“Mason’s at it again? I swear if the NHL had a record for how many girls you can sleep with in a season he’d already be in the Hall of Fame.”
The comment draws a laugh from a handful of other players and my stomach sinks a little. I know Mason’s history, but it doesn’t feel great to be grouped in with his past playthings.
“Seriously.” A different voice speaks up. “Ithought I was a menace when I joined the team a few years ago, but Mason. He’s next level. Dude’s a legend no matter what he manages to do on this team.”
“Should we take bets on how long until Hayes sends this new girl packing? I say no longer than a week.”
Wow, this guy is such an asshole.
“Don’t be a dick, Kall.”
“All I’m saying is, I feel for the poor girl. She seems nice enough. It’s a shame she doesn’t realize she’s being played.”
“Perhaps he is a changed man.” More laughs.
“C’mon, we’ve all been there. All-star rookie year, flying girls out to games so we can have some extra fun…celebrating after a win. Whisper a few sweet nothings so they feel grateful to be sucking your dick.”
My jaw is on the floor. I know Mason wouldn’t treat me like that but damn…these guys just play-by-played our evening. Maybe I didn’t know the new Mason.
“I don’t know, man. Sure, he has a past, but he seems pretty serious about this one.”
Thank you, kind sir.
“And the hot little blonde I saw sneaking out of his hotel room yesterday morning? Is he serious about her too?”
What.the.actual.fuck.Mason told me last night he hadn’t been with anyone since we last kissed. If that wasn’t true, why would he feel the need to say it?
“Yeah man, she was freaking gorgeous. Had to be a lawyer or something with the fancy suit she was wearing.”
I was no longer interested in the sandwich. My chest is twinging with pain, and my heart is racing so fast I feel like I’m suffocating. Even if he did sleep with someone yesterday, that was before we had gotten together. And it didn’t change anything now. But why would he lie about not being with anyone?
Instead of standing there in the cafe and driving myself crazy with all the questions, I decide to go to the one person whocould give me some answers. As I watched the numbers of the elevator tick up one by one, all I can think about is how an hour ago, my head was filled with Mason saying, “You. I want you.” And now the only voice in my head is my father’s. “No one ever wanted you.”
twenty-one
. . .
Mason
three years ago
chicago
I jumpup at the sound of the lock clicking. “Finally, I almost had to eat this $15 bag of— Vi? What’s wrong? What happened?” She looks crushed. I move to bring her into my arms, but she gently pushes me away, putting distance between us. I already hate this feeling that’s building in my stomach.
Violet’s looking at me curiously, like she’s trying to see me through a new lens. She stands up straight and looks me dead in the eye. “Did you sleep with someone yesterday morning? Before you came to pick me up.”
Out of all the things that could’ve come out ofher mouth, I never in a million years would’ve guessed it would’ve been that. “What?” I laugh a little because I am relieved. My laugh only hardens her face.
“I overheard some of the guys on the team talking downstairs. They kept making jokes about how I was another girl on your long list of hook-ups and had no idea what I was getting myself into. They mentioned a blonde sneaking out of your room yesterday. But you told me last night that you hadn’t been with anyone since we kissed.”
I can see the hope in her eyes, hope that this is all some big misunderstanding. Seeing her so upset and knowing that it was because of my actions (real or not) makes my heart feel like it‘s being slowly ripped out of my chest. I hate how she’s looking at me right now, like she’s waiting for me to tell her something that will give her permission to hate me. She’s on the edge, waiting for me to push her. What would I even say? How could I prove to her that there wasn’t anyone —oh fuck. Monroe. Monroe left yesterday morning.
“It’s not what it looks like.” I wince at how the words sound coming from my mouth. Like someone who knows they messed up and are trying to cover their tracks. “Let me explain?—”
“Honestly you don’t even need to. It’s unfair of me to expect more from you. It’s not like we were together at the time.” Violet wraps her arms around her torso like she’s physically trying to hold herself together and I want nothing more than to comfort her. But, honestly someone should be holding me at this point. Whether she realizes it or not, every time she mentions my inability to commit, it feels like a swift kick in the ribs. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Despite my own hurt I move to get closer to her, and she takes a step back, as if just being next to me causes her pain.
“Listen, I know my past doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence in my ability to commit to one person and settle down. It’s not something I can exactly deny.” I wasn’t helping my own case, but in this specific instance, I hadn’t done anything wrong. Violetwas going to have to stop using my past against me. How many times would I have to try and get closer before she would fully let me in? I could clear the air at this moment, but my reputation wasn’t going away. I made my choices and now we would both have to live with them. Or at least I hoped she would. “But babe, the blonde that was sneaking out of my room was Monroe.”
