More time passes, and my brother just sits by my side, a quiet, giant presence. Hospital staff walk by, some giving us curious looks. Security keeps an eye on us but doesn't make us leave.
The PA system announces that visiting hours are ending in thirty minutes.
"You planning to stay all night?" Odin asks.
"If that's what it takes."
"They'll kick you out eventually."
"Then I'll sit in the parking lot. I don't care. I'm not leaving."
The automatic door to the lobby opens. My dad steps through, spots us immediately, and crosses the space as people murmur his name.
"Boys."
We stand. Dad looks at me, taking in the situation without asking questions. Then he sits down on the floor, back against the wall.
Odin and I exchange a look, then join him.
The three of us sit on the hospital floor, silent, but their presence gives me a tiny bit of strength. I can figure this out. They’ll help.
"Your mom wanted to come," Dad says. "I told her to wait. Too many of us might overwhelm Sloane."
"She won't see me anyway."
"She will. When she's ready."
"What if she's never ready?"
Dad doesn't answer that. We just sit.
CHAPTER 33
SLOANE
After Mel leaves,I’m alone with the beeps. I’m so tired, down to my bones, and someone took off my necklace. I reach for it, not finding it at my neck, and for some reason, it’s that final injustice that sends me over the edge.
Sobs pour from my body. I’m moaning and clutching my stomach and just crying for all the things I should have cried about years ago.
I weep for my grandmother, who raised and sacrificed for me. I weep for my parents, my father gone, and my mother too mired in grief to parent me. And as I feel the babies swim inside me, I weep because I’m terrified that I am robbing their father of the chance to be different.
It’s true, Tucker is hundreds of miles away. Unreachable.
But he left three dozen backup Stags to step in, and what did I do? I pushed them all away out of my own stubborn foolishness.
I can’t be on bed rest without help.
All Tucker Stag has done since July is grow, while I’ve floundered and pushed him away. No wonder he felt like protecting me from his work struggles. We need to be honest with each other, or this whole thing goes up in flames.
The babies’ heartbeats swirl and tick on the monitors, and it becomes a chorus, chanting CALL HIM. CALL HIM.
I don’t have my phone, and I don’t think anyone at this hospital will know how to reach him, but I need to do something.I need to make a change. I reach for the red button on my bed rail and press for the nurse.
I cry some more while I wait for her to arrive, which probably explains her worried face as she rushes to my bedside. “Sloane, what can I do?”
She starts checking my vitals, and I shake my head. “This is probably inappropriate for me to ask.”
The nurse, Shelby, pauses and meets my eye. “I promise you won’t be the first person to ask, whatever it is.”
