I laugh, relief washing over me at this small return to levity. “I don’t think I have my phone here. And I need to reach my room— I need to call the babies’ father.”
“Ah.” Shelby smiles knowingly and pats my hand. “Actually, I think this one’s an easy win for me. Hang on.”
Two minutes later, my door opens again, and Tucker steps inside.
He looks terrified. His hair is a mess, like he's been running his hands through it. There are dark circles under his eyes.
He looks like he's been through hell.
Because of me.
"Hi," I whisper.
He closes the door behind him and just stands there, staring at me. At the monitors. At my belly under the thin hospital blanket. At the IV in my arm.
"Sloane." My name comes out broken. “Oh god, Sloane."
I want to apologize. Want to explain. Want to tell him I'm sorry for shutting him out, for not calling him, for putting him through this.
But all that comes out is: "I'm okay. The babies are okay."
He moves then, crossing the room in three long strides. Stops beside the bed, his hands hovering like he wants to touch me but doesn't know if he's allowed.
"Can I—" His voice breaks. "Can I touch you?"
I nod, not trusting my voice.
His hand finds mine. Large, warm, familiar. He sinks into thechair beside the bed, still holding my hand, and drops his head against our joined fingers.
"I thought I lost you," he says into my skin. "I thought?—"
"I'm sorry." The words rush out. "Tucker, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have—I was scared and I wasn't thinking clearly and?—"
"Stop." He lifts his head, his blue eyes meeting mine. "Don't apologize for being scared."
"But I shut you out. I told them you were 'out of the picture' and I?—"
"I know. Mel told me." He wipes his free hand over his face. "I've been treating you like you're this thing that's happening to me. Like you're pregnant with my babies and that's all that matters. I haven't been seeing you. Sloane. The woman who's trying to start fresh, figure out her life, and maintain her independence."
My throat tightens. "I?—"
"I've been so focused on providing, on being there, on doing the right thing that I missed what you actually needed." His thumbs stroke across my knuckles. "I've been smothering you when I thought I was supporting you. Trying to solve things without you, and I know that’s a sore spot for you."
The tears come then, hot and fast. "I'm so messed up, Tucker. I don't know how to let someone take care of me without losing myself. And you—" My voice breaks. "You're so good to me, and I'm terrified that if I let myself need you, I'll wake up one day and not know who Sloane is anymore."
"Hey." He stands, carefully moving to sit on the edge of the bed. "Look at me."
I meet his eyes, those impossibly blue eyes that have been haunting me for weeks.
"We can come back from this. We can tell each other things, and be honest, and trust that we have each other’s back." His hand moves to cup my face, thumb wiping away tears. "You’re so strong, baby." He leans closer. "Fucking fierce."
I let out a wet laugh. "Fierce?"
"Yeah." He's smiling now, that crooked smile that makes myheart stutter. "You're fierce.” His expression softens. "I love that about you."
The words hang in the air between us.
"What?" I whisper.
