“I know,” I say, because honestly, what else is there to say to that?
“Who is she?” she screams, voice rising and echoing off the walls, and I’m so fucking glad it’s just us here because I bet they could hear her down the fucking street.
“It doesn’t matter,” I mumble, looking down at the floor because the truth is twofold: telling her I fucked up is one thing, but telling her it was with aman? She would absolutely choose to weaponize that and drag me through the mud. That feels like handing her a match and a gallon of gasoline. I’m not ready to be the punchline of her social vendettas, and I’m not ready to let that piece of me be torn apart by people who don’t understand it.
My sexuality isn’t a fucking gossip piece.
“Itsofucking matters!” she screams, voice cracking with fury. “You cheated on me with some whore and you… oh my god-were youhardfor her andnotme?”
Her final words hit like a punch, and I grimace. Honestly, I don’t even have to voice my answer because my expression is all the confirmation she needs.
“You’re a real fucking asshole!” she screams, spinning toward me with that venom in her eyes.
“I know,” I repeat, flat and hollow.
She scoffs and starts to pace again. Then with this wild, furious glare that could burn holes in steel, she says, “You’re going to tell mewhoit was. I swear to god I will end this if you don’t.”
And I blink, genuinely confused for a second because in my mind, telling her I cheated wasthe end.Like, that’s the part where the relationship collapses under its own weight. I’m not exactly fluent in dating etiquette, but I’m pretty sure whensomeone admits they get aroused by someone who isn’t their partner, it usually means the chapter is over.
“Sab…” I say slowly, “I think we are done anyway.”
Her face splits into equal parts disbelief and rage.
“I don’t… I’m not telling you who it was,” I continue with a steady, quiet finality.
“Is this a fucking joke to you?” she hisses, eyes already welling with tears that she fights like she’s embarrassed to let them fall.
“What? No, of course not. I fucked up, I know that,” I reply, exasperation creeping into my voice.
“And now you’re going to break up with me?” she says, letting those tears fall with this dramatic quiver in her lips that I honestly can’t tell are real or fake.
Oh fuckingfuck fuck fuck.
“I think… Sab,” I begin slowly, “it’s been a long time coming.”
Her eyes narrow and she angrily swipes at the tears on her cheeks.
“Because you don’t do anything fun! But apparently you’re a lot of fun for random whores at parties!” she screeches, punctuation not included. “Oh my god, how many times? How long have you been cheating on me?”
“Jesus, Sab,” I say, voice low and exhausted, “just this once. I told you right away.”
“Oh, well, thank you for theconsideration, you fucking prick,” she spits back, dripping sarcasm.
I sigh, tilt my head back, and grip my hair at the base of my skull.
“I really am sorry,” I say, and I mean it. “I would never intentionally hurt you.”
She laughs at me in this ugly, incredulous bark and it’s like someone chucked a bucket of ice water on the moment. “I’vebeen faithful for twofuckingyears and it turns out I was with a cheating, lying piece of shit.”
I just nod and don’t argue. I figure letting her have her anger is what she needs right now. She’s entitled to be mad. Hell, I would be fucking furious at that kind of betrayal. I hate myself for letting it happen and I hate that I hurt her.
“I hate you,” she says, voice thick with hurt. “Everyone is going to know you’re an unfaithful piece of shit.”
“Yeah, I know,” I say, because newsflash: I already know, and pretending it doesn’t sting would be bullshit.
I’m well aware that my cheating is going to be circulated. Sabrina is never going to be the kind of girl who takes the high road or avoids drama. I don’t blame her and I can appreciate that she is honest about the fact that she is going to tell everyone. Again, she has that fucking right after what I did to her.
She shakes her head, face screwed up like she’s trying to spit every emotion in the world all at once, and then she tells me, “Fine, you want to be done. Then so fucking be it. But I swear it wasmethat ended it because you’re a fucking terrible lay.”
