He narrows his eyes at me like he’s not fully convinced, but then he smirks. “I’m no longer a half virgin.”
I blink. “Wait, what?”
He grins, eyes sparkling with mischief. “Think about it. In straight relationships, the guy loses his virginity when he penetrates, and the girl when she’s penetrated.”
“Okay…” I reply cautiously, not sure where this is going.
He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “I’m not a girl.”
“Obviously. What’s your point?”
“So, did I lose my virginity when you fucked me, or just now when I fucked you? Or… did I lose half then, and the other half just now?”
I blink at him. Then burst out laughing. “You were seriously thinking about that?” I ask, choking on my amusement. “Hud, sex is sex. I don’t think there’s a gay checklist for virginity rules.”
“You don’t have to laugh,” he mumbles, turning away and giving me his back.
“Oh, come on.” I scoot forward and spoon him, arms snaking around his chest. He’s pouting, but I can see the smile trying to creep through. I play dirty, literally, by slipping my fingers under his ribs and tickling him.
He squeals.Actuallysqueals. His arms and legs flailing as he begs through laughter for mercy.
“Well, isn’t this sickeningly cute?”
All playfulness evaporates at the sound of Hadley’s voice, tight and vibrating with restrained fury.
I jerk away from Hudson like I’ve been burned, and he scrambles out of bed like it just caught fire.
My eyes snap to the door.
Hadley stands in the doorway, eyes blazing. She’s rigid, arms wrapped around herself like a physical shield.
“Hads,” Hudson starts carefully. “We didn’t know you’d be coming home.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Should I have sent a freaking carrier pigeon to announce my arrival at my own house?” Her voice drips with sarcasm, but there is a tremor underneath. “Maybe I should’ve scheduled a visit, since clearly I’m just a guest in the world of you two now.”
Hudson flinches. “That’s not what I meant. We just would’ve been more considerate if we knew. That’s all.”
“Considerate?” Her laugh is humorless. “No one considered me when you started fucking my boyfriend behind my back.” Her eyes flick to me, devastation shining through her unshed tears. “No. Screw Hadley. Who cares how she feels, right?”
“Hads—” Hud tries, but she cuts him off.
“Why don’t you go jump off that fucking bridge you love so much, Hudson. Do us all a favor.” Her voice cracks, the tears finally falling. Her mouth is agape like she can’t believe what she just said. She takes a step closer like she may say something else, but she just spins on her heel and runs off. A second later, her bedroom door slams shut with enough force to knock a family photo off the wall, leaving us in stunned silence.
Hud’s breath catches, his body going limp with defeat. He walks with sluggish steps to his dresser, takes one of his pills from the bottle and swallows it dry. He goes back to the bed and lies down, eyes vacant. I don’t say anything, just crawl in and curl myself around him. He doesn’t move. He’s shutting down again.
We’re right back to where we started, and I’m scared that maybe this time, Hadley woke a beast that’s always been sleeping inside Hud.
Thirty-Eight
Hudson
If it weren’t for graduation, I wouldn’t have bothered getting out of bed today. After Hadley caught Cullen and me goofing off in my bedroom a few days ago, I haven’t been able to do more than get up to take a piss. I shut down, and Cullen knew instantly that my mind had gone dark. He stayed with me until he had to leave, but before he did, he made me promise to check in, even if it was just a thumbs-up emoji.
I had to force myself to get dressed today, then tried to sneak out before anyone could stop me, but Mom caught me just as I got to the front door. My parents insisted Hadley and I play nice so they could get pictures of us together in our caps and gowns.
Hadley kept making snide little jabs, like mocking how many honor cords I earned, and how I sucked off Principal Ward to win Valedictorian.
I know I earned it. But she has no clue what it took to get here, or why I tried so hard in the first place. If I told her now, she’d just see it as me angling for pity, and that’s the last thing I want.
