“You stole his memory?”
“No. My mesmer can take or share. He shared it with me.” The queen let out a trembling breath. “Gods, it was agonizing to watch him fall, but I am keen enough to see you were protecting Eldirard. I heard you apologize for the blade that struck Sander, and I know a look of desperation when I see one. You did not want to be there. Not like the light elves.”
My jaw worked. “I did not want battle. It felt like an invasion.”
“I know. Every kingdom in the fae realms knows. Perhaps if Sander had not survived, this conversation would be different, but battles have ended and I still have both my sons. Now, we have you.”
She spoke like I was truly a piece of their house, not a political pawn.
Malin rose again and went to the door. “When the tonic has worked its magic—and it is mesmer filled—come down and spar with us. That memory gave up your little trick. Everyone has been mightily curious to see it again.”
The corner of my mouth twitched. “Are you certain everyone would care to see me? I embarrassed your son last night.”
Malin laughed. “Ah, Skadi, why do you think we have Elixist tonics so readily available? I assure you, Jonas has done his fair share of tavern table dancing.”
Chapter 24
The Nightmare Prince
Old courtyardsof the Black Palace had been made into soft lawns and sparring fields. Speckled across the field were folk from the inner palace, a few Kryv, and townsfolk who enjoyed working sore muscles through a match of mesmer or blades.
My uncle Bard grunted and let out a curse when I slammed his back to the grass, breaths heavy, blade at his throat. He tried to break free, but the shield strapped to my arm kept him locked in defeat.
Bard let his arms fall to the side in surrender. “Gods, I concede. Unless I’m allowed to snap a few fingers.”
Strange how he’d vowed with Tova, a Mediski alver who healed. Bard was a Rifter like Ash. Should he desire it, he could snap my spine.
“Only if you want me to haunt Kåre with nightmares so you never sleep again.”
“Brutal, Jo. You’d do such a thing to your young, innocent cousin?”
“No. I’m not that diabolical yet.” One palm clasped with his, I tugged him to his feet.
We’d long since stripped our tunics. Smudges of dirt and streaks from the green grass painted our skin across shoulders, spines, and chests.
My mother stood next to Junius Tjuv from the Falkyns, the wife ofNiklas and a Profetik who could taste lies. Junie tied back her long, black braids and wiped a towel over the heat on her dark skin, laughing as Niklas and Raum were nearing a standstill.
Raum could see Nik’s moves before the Elixist could even reach for one of his endless powders of fire or poison. Now, they were locked in a dance of equal skill with the blade.
Von sparred with Isak and Fiske. Even without mesmer Von knew his way around a blade and managed to knock one of Fiske’s daggers from his grip. To the far side of the field, Daj’s eyes were blackened like night, and Tova was retreating, cursing at him when dark skeins of shadows wrapped around her ankles.
Buckets of water for drinking or washing were lined across the grass. I splashed my face once, then tilted water into my mouth, soothing the burn in my throat.
When I traveled to other kingdoms to spend time with Aleksi, or Mira, or Livia, these were the days I missed from home. Everyone laughing. Everyone safe.
I wanted Skadi to be part of it, and I could not deduce why. More like I did not want to face why. All night her words would not leave me.You will never truly want me.
If only she knew she was a poison in my veins and I wanted to drown in it.
Skadi’s words crawled under my skin like burrowing pests I could not shake. The pain in her eyes when she looked at me was a wound placed there long ago by the thoughts she spoke in her mind, with words spoken by others.
How often was she brought low and put in her place to keep silent?
I ought to have realized it at the first true conversation we had, when she told me her wants and desires did not matter any longer.
They mattered to me.
“Ah, hello, lovey.” Raum’s cheerful taunt drew me back to the moment.
