“He died because of you!” I screamed, my face wet with more tears than I’d ever thought I could shed. “I could have stopped him! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
Alessio wiped his bleeding lip, then stepped into the gun, grabbing my wrist and forcing it from my hand.
“I’ve got him,” he said to the soldiers, who immediately released me. Alessio shoved me back until we reached the private bedroom at the rear of the plane. He slammed the door shut, and I slumped to the floor, sitting against the bed with my hands over my face.
“It should have been me. Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” I choked as Alessio knelt in front.
“Because you would never have agreed to it. Joey put two million dollars on your head, Finn. I needed you out of Italy and Frankie to agree to end this. Ambushing him was too risky. If he didn’t agree to the terms, I wasn’t about to let you die for me. I’d hand myself over and make sure I took a few American fuckers down with me. You were not going to die for me, Finn. But I fucked up by giving Frankie the invitation. He got to Filo, bribed him to take Neri away for a few hours to panic us all, and made sure we couldn’t kill Frankie in the meeting because he was the only person who knew where she was. I told Enzo because I couldn't get hold of you. I didn’t know he’d do this.”
“I can’t lose him again,” I whispered, furious tears stinging behind my eyes. “That fucking prick,” I growled, shaking my head as anger took over. “He forced his way back into my life, back into my fucking heart. And when I finally give in, he gets himself fucking killed. He sacrifices himself to save everyone else I love, to save you, Neri, and me. He didn’t even get a chanceto live the life he wanted. And I can’t even fucking hate him for it.”
The pain was too much. The regret. The what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. My heart was crushed by memories of the night we’d just shared. He’d finally been himself, feeling free and happy, and… he’d got one fucking night. It was too cruel to comprehend.
“He did it because he loves you more than himself,” Alessio whispered, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Which is why I couldn’t let him die.”
My head snapped up. I froze, searching his blue eyes as a spark of terrifying hope flared in my chest.
“He’s alive, Finn. But no one can know. I needed you to react that way out there so everyone would believe it. I’m sorry.”
He’s… alive? But…My lips trembled as I shook my head, wanting to believe it so badly but not understanding how the fuck it was possible.
“I followed them to Joey’s place. Filmed the whole thing and blackmailed Frankie into pretending to kill Enzo. He buried him alive, and I pulled him out once they had gone. Only you, Frankie, Enzo and I know the truth, and it has to stay that way for this to work.”
I blinked. A painful breath filled my lungs, and I shoved Alessio back, sending him to his ass. I didn’t know whether to fucking kiss him or punch him again. “He’s alive?”
“Si.He’s with a doctor friend of mine in America. He’ll get a new identity, then disappear. Start over. Be whoever the fuck he wants to be.”
A broken sob tore from my lips as I buried my face in my hands. He was still breathing. He was alive. The relief was indescribable, yet it brought the gut-wrenching realisation that I’d never see him again.
Alessio moved to my side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. I fell into him, letting the emotions flood through me for the first time in my adult life. I cried for the boy I used to be, the one who had wished more than anything that someday I’d find someone who saw my worth enough to protect and love me. I’d finally found him, but for that wish to come true, I’d lost him all over again.
I cried for Enzo because his wish had come true, too. He was free, but still alone. Something I knew he never wanted to be. I hated the thought of him out there, somewhere in the world, without me. Both of us living a life half full forever.
“Finn,” Alessio sighed, resting his head against mine. “You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a brother. You’re my family, and I love you so fucking much. You know that, don’t you?”
I closed my eyes, unable to speak. I wasn’t sure how I’d ever recover from this pain, but I knew I’d pick myself up and keep going eventually, because at least he was alive and I had to be strong for Neri. But for this one rare moment, I let myself be vulnerable in the arms of my brother.
“I need you to know,” he continued. “You don’t owe me anything.”
I lifted my head from his shoulder and wiped my eyes. “I owe you my life, Alessio. If it weren’t for you, I’d have ended up dead, either in the fighting rings or by suicide. You know that. And now you’ve saved the man I love, so I owe you even more.”
“You don’t owe me anything. Your life is your own, Finn, and I’m sorry it’s never felt that way. I took you from a shitty environment into another fucked-up world. You were sixteen when you joined the Barbieri ranks, and that wasn’t much of a choice. It was a better one, sure, but it was never meant for you. You stayed because you had to. You went undercover as a Buccini soldier because I asked you to. You became my consigliere because I needed you. Your loyalty to me has alwaysdictated your choices. But that ends now, Finn. Do you hear me?”
I didn’t understand what he was saying or why he was saying it. So I stayed quiet.
“It’s time you thought about what you really want from your life. Is it this?” he asked, gesturing to us, battered, sitting on the plane floor. “Beaten to shit, and having to come to terms with another loss, because no matter what we do, our world is never safe. You want to spend the rest of your life just trying to survive it without the man you love?”
“What other choice is there?”
“I’m asking you what you want, Finn. Has anyone ever actually asked you that? Have you ever asked yourself that? If you could live any life you wanted, what would it look like?”
Flashes of Enzo, Neri, and me on the beach sprang to mind, somewhere safe and slow-paced, away from the violence. I shook my head.
“You can have it,” he said softly. “You’ve earned it.”
“What are you talking about? This. This is my life. Any other reality is impossible.”
“Who the fuck are you talking to?” He smirked, his blue eyes dancing with mischief as I narrowed mine. “I’m Alessio Barbieri. I make the fucking impossible possible, don’t I?”
