“Maisy, beautiful.I didn’t mean to offend you.I didn’t mean it that way.”
Tears spill down my cheeks.“I don’t know how else to take it.Basically, the only reason you’re here is because your biology demands it.If it were up to you–to your head and your heart–you wouldn’t even be with me.”
“No.That’s not true.”
“Itistrue.You just took a drug to keep yourself frommatingme.”I wave a hand in the direction of his doctor bag.“Clearly, you don’t think we’re right for each other.You’ve avoided me forseven years.I’ve been an adult for four of those, but you never made contact.You didn’t show up until I was in danger.And then, it was probably because your biology forced you to.So don’t worry.I’ll keep my distance from you, so you don’t have to keep poisoning yourself with drugs to keep from claiming me.”
I pick up his phone from the counter and turn the screen to his face to unlock it, then dial up Axel.
“I’m going back to Bad Bear.I’d appreciate it if you didn’t contact me.”I hold my head high.
Matthias may think of me as a little flustered girl, but he’s the one who missed out.I’m all woman.We can chalk my inexperience up to biology–I guess some part of me was confused and waiting for him, but that’s over.
I’m a grown woman, and if I’m not enough for him, it’s his damn loss.
ChapterTwenty-One
Maisy
I cling to my resolve to be strong and bottle it all up and wait until I’m home before I lose it.
After calling Axel, he got us both on the next commercial flight to Albuquerque, and then rented a car and drove us back to Bad Bear.I didn’t say a word the whole way, and neither did he.
Thank God for friends like him.
Daisy is waiting on the doorstep.I run to her, and she opens her arms wide, like she used to when I was little.I hug her carefully because she feels so thin and frail in my arms.This time, I’m holding her up, instead of the other way around.
“Maisy,” her voice is clogged with tears.“Thank goodness you’ve returned.”
“I’m here.I’m okay.”She’s shaking, and I’m afraid she might be cold standing on this icy stoop.“Let’s get inside.”
She lifts her head, and her face is wet as she looks around.Axel’s already driven off, probably to give me space.“Where’s Matthias?I want to thank him for bringing you back to me.”
I try to be strong, but my face crumples a bit, and Daisy realizes something is wrong.
“Oh no, sweetheart.Tell me everything.”
Maisy
“So that’s why I came home early,” I tell Missy.She was still at her mom’s in Santa Fe and dropped everything to come up the mountain for a sleepover tonight.My throat is scratchy from explaining everything while holding back tears.I cried a bunch when telling Daisy, but with Missy, I leave out the shifter stuff, so all she knows is that I found out Matthias was with me because he felt obligated.“He doesn’t want me, he just felt like he needed to help me.Like a protective big brother.”
“Oh, Maisy.”Missy sets her mug of hot chocolate on my bedside table and scoots closer, so she can take my hand.“I’m sure that’s not true.He said yes to the date.”
“Only because he found my New Year’s resolution list and thought he was helping me,” I whisper.I can’t cry, I have no more tears.My tear ducts ache.There’s a black hole in the pit of my stomach.
I felt strong when I marched away from Matthias, clinging to my pride, but now, with my best friend, I allow myself to wallow.I deserve a damn pity party.
“I just feel like no one’s chosen me.Not my father, not my mother.I even had a pity date to the prom.”
“I chose you.Daisy chose you.”She squeezes my hand.
I look out the window.It’s snowing again.The whole world has darkened even though it’s not yet dusk.
“Daisy had no choice.She took me in because she had to–my mom O.D’ed, and my dad was a drug addict, too.And you’re an amazing best friend, but…I don’t know.Sometimes I feel like I’m just your sidekick.”I don’t know why all my truths are tumbling out right now.I don’t want to hurt Missy, but I just can’t hold it in.
I guess I’m just too demoralized to pretend things are fine with me when they’re not.
Missy looks dismayed.
