Ely and I go together the next day to the CPS office to fill out an application to foster Maddy. Jenna is there waiting for us, and her eyes glow with happiness as we sit down in her office to discuss the circumstances.
“Unmarried couples are allowed to foster in the state of Colorado,” she says, her eyes scanning down the paper. “Jami, you’re already certified to be a foster parent, which means that we just have to get Ely certified, too.”
“How long will that take?” I ask nervously, and Ely reaches over and takes my hand, putting me immediately at ease.
“It can generally take anywhere between three to six months,” says Jenna, and my hope plummets. Without Ely and without the house, the odds of fostering Madison are slim to none. I’ve worked in social work long enough to know that.
“Is there anything we can do to speed it up?” asks Ely, still squeezing my hand. Jenna sighs, her eyes flickering back and forth between Ely and me.
“I don’t usually do this,” she says, grabbing a sticky note to scribble something on the paper. “But I’m going to see if we can get this going for you sooner rather than later.” She looks at me and smiles, and I almost break down and cry with relief.
“Thank you, Jenna.”
“You’re one of the best people I know,” she says, standing to shake our hands. Her eyes leave my face and travel to Ely’s. “Take care of this woman. She’s a person you will never want to lose from your life.”
“I believe you,” Ely says, draping one arm around my shoulder to pull me into him. “And thank you for your help, Mrs. Walker.”
We bid Jenna goodbye and walk back out to the car, where Ely opens my door, and I slide into the seat.
“Where to now?” he asks. “Will they let us see Maddy?”
“Yes.” I smile, but I don’t even realize I’m smiling until the muscles in my cheeks begin to hurt. Ely pulls into the parking lot of the modest group home and turns off the engine. He reaches for the handle on his door, but my hand reaches out to stop him, fingers tightening around his wrist.
“What is it?” Ely asks, turning in the seat to face me. His brow is furrowed with confusion, but he doesn’t fight me. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”
I take a deep breath, holding it until my head becomes slightly fuzzy and the anxiety melts from my bones.
“I want to make sure you’re ready for this,” I tell him quietly. “Because if we walk in there and claim her, so to speak, I won’t be able to live with myself if we can’t follow through with it. Madison has been through enough. We need to be sure.”
Ely smiles then, which catches me off guard, and leans over the middle console to kiss me. The taste of his lips and the sensation of his fingers against my bare skin sends shivers down my spine, but only the good kind.
“I’m a man of my word,” he says, touching my cheek as he pulls back a bit. “I can’t speak for you, sweetheart, but I’m more than ready.”
His words hit me hard, and a whole other blend of emotions showered over me. I want to cry but with happiness. I’m devoted to not only Madison Hill but also to this man in front of me. I don’t want anything else or anyone else. I want him. I want her. I want them.
Ely holds my hand as we walk through the front doors of the group home and make our way up the stairs to where Maddy is still hiding out. She’s not on the bed this time but is sitting at a plastic toy desk. There’s a tattered coloring book laid out in front of her, and she’s coloring in the characters on the page will dull crayons. Neither Ely nor I speak for a moment, just stand in the doorway watching her draw, and I swear to God my heart swells ten times its original size.
“Maddy,” I say softly, and the little girl turns to look at us, a smile appearing suddenly on her face that lights up the entire room all at once … maybe even the whole world.
“Jami!” Abandoning her project, she hops up from the desk chair and runs into my arms, clinging to me, her tiny body overcome with so much strength that she almost knocks me over completely. “I hoped you’d come back,” she whispers in my ear, twirling a strand of my hair around one finger. “I missed you.” Her eyes leave my face then as she notices Ely still standing in the doorway. I can’t read her expression, but her grip tightens on me like she’s afraid I’ve come bearing bad news.
“Maddy,” I say, kneeling down in front of her. “How would you feel about coming to live with Mr. Ely and me as soon as possible?” I take both of her hands in mine, smiling. She smiles back, but it’s with hesitation and apprehension. She’s watching Ely warily over my shoulder. A cop, just like her father. That might take some time for her to get used to.
“Won’t daddy be mad?” she asks me, and a sharp spear of pain travels through my soul.
“No, sweetheart, not anymore. You’re safe now, okay? Your daddy won’t be around for a while. Is that okay with you?”
For a moment I think she’s going to start crying, maybe even start wailing on me, but she doesn’t. Instead, a beautiful smile pops up on her face, and she nods her head, blond curls bouncing.
“Will I have my own room?”
“A room twice this size,” Ely says, taking the chance of stepping into the bedroom behind me. Maddy’s eyes leave my face as she looks at Ely, and I’m grateful to see that her smile doesn’t waver. In fact, it only grows.
“I think I’d like that,” she says, and when Ely kneels down next to me, we all hug each other, the three of us, and we stay like that for what feels like an eternity, but it’s hardly long enough. All I want to do for the rest of my life is hug these people and never stop.
39
JAMI
