“Yeah, well, you reap what you sow, right?”
“I guess.” I shrugged, looking around at the chic décor in the girl’s shared house. “But not forever, you know?”
“I don’t deserve forgiveness,” Renee said quietly. She was not looking at me, but I could see the emotions vivid in her eyes. “I fucked up, okay? I did something I’ve never done and never thought about doing before.”
“You’re not a bad person.”
“How could you, of all people, sit there and say that?” Renee jumped to her feet, scowling, and I thought she might come at me for a moment. “You’re one of the worst people I know, Matthew Nelson, as are both of your friends. But I am standing here now, telling you that I fucked up, and you think I am not a bad person?”
“You know what you did,” I told her, getting to my feet. “And you’re hurting for it. You’d only be a bad person if you knew what you did and didn’t care.”
“Everyone cares when they screw up.” Renee shook her head, wiping a tear away. Her arms are folded across her chest, a protective stance. “Nobody is that heartless.”
“You’d be surprised.” I took a step in her direction and then another, expecting Renee to move away from me, but she didn’t.
“You still haven’t told me why you’re here,” she said, and she couldn't see my gaze. She was crying, just a little bit, and it was all I had in me not to pull her to my body and hold her until I physically couldn't anymore.
“I came here to apologize.” I take another step. Renee stays where she is. “Jake and Aaron reminded me that I was the only one who hasn’t apologized to you for all the shitty things I did in the past—-”
“And now,” she reminds me, and I smile.
“—-and now.”
Renee sniffles, shaking her head, but a tiny, nearly non-existent smile is playing on her lips.
“Thank you for the apology,” she said. “But if it was meant to make me feel better, it didn’t.” Her chin dropped to her chest, and I moved in, folding my arms around her. I expected her to fight, scream at me, even throw something heavy.
But she does none of those things. Not a single one. Instead, she breaks down and cries, her knees weak, and she lets me hold her, secure in my arms until the sun dips behind the mountain and the house settles into darkness.
And even then, we still hold each other.
Chapter 30
Aaron
Iwas still wide awakewhen Matt ambled through the front door at around one in the morning. He kicks off his shoes and promptly goes to the fridge for a beer. He grabs me one while he’s there and flops down on the couch next to me. I grabbed the remote and muted the show I’d been watching.
