“Part of it,” I said with a slight shrug.
Julia replaced my hand with her own and kneaded my neck, her skilled fingers working efficiently to massage the kinks. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. Our department was crazy busy today.”
“I know, it’s alright.” I had to fight the urge to add,it’s probably a good thing you weren’t.
Instead, I took her hand, my fingers tangling with hers, and she leaned around to kiss me, teasing my mouth with the softness of her lips. I melted into her, shivering slightly as her fingers trailed down my abdomen towards the prick growing under my jeans. She ran one free hand through my hair, massaging my scalp. Once upon a time, a move like this would have set me on fire. We’d already be undressed, fucking each other like animals on the bed … in the shower … or wherever the night took us.
But it was challenging to feel that way anymore for multiple reasons. I was still trying to get past them.
“So,” she purred. “How did it go?”
“We have three new rookies,” I said. “And one of them is a woman.”
Not just any woman, Hansen,I reminded myself.But a woman you haven’t been able to stop thinking about since the day she walked into the firehouse and invoked a fire that you haven’t yet been able to tame. But you don’t want to tell your fiancé that, do you?
“What?” Julia’s hand withdrew as though I’d pinched her. She stared at me, those green eyes slightly wide; in horror or fascination, I couldn’t tell. “There’s a female on the crew?”
“Yeah,” I hunkered down into the couch cushion and propped my feet on the coffee table. “Paisley Hill. She’s fresh out of college with a Psych degree and the determination of six of my men.”
“Wow.” Julia’s tone conveyed anything but excitement, and I could feel the metaphorical ice cracking beneath my weight.
Be careful, Hansen, or you two will be at each other’s throats again.
“I’m surprised you didn’t tell me earlier,” Julia said. I rested my head against the back of the couch and shut my eyes, willing away the headache that I could already feel tugging at my temples.
“You’ve never been that interested before,” I muttered.
Julia’s lips pursed, and her arms folded firmly over her chest. “I’m interested now, so suddenly it’s an issue?”
God help me with this one.
I sat up, forced my eyes open, and reached for the beer on the coffee table. “I didn’t think she’d make it, to be honest with you,” I told Julia, who was still scowling. I took another drink, trying to stay as nonchalant about this as I could, which may or may not have been a good idea. “I didn’t feel as though it was worth mentioning. I apologize.”
““Is she cute?” Julia asked, and something deep inside of me tightened painfully, like a vice around my groin. I thought of Paisley, the freckles that dotted her fair skin, and the way her hair always smelled so fucking good, no matter how hard she worked running drills and practice tests.
Fight for her, Hansen. Fight for your girlfriend. It’s not over yet.
““Not as cute as you.” I reached out to pull Julia into me, but she was stiff as a rock, arms folded stubbornly across her chest, the mental and physical wall slowly building itself against me. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, to remind her that I wasn’t the one she should be concerned about being unfaithful.
But I didn’t. Because I wasn’t that kind of asshole guy.
“Is that going to be weird?” she asked. “I mean, with all the men on your crew, it seems like a lawsuit waiting to happen.”
“You work in a department full of men,” I reminded her, biting my tongue before I could say more, and Julia scoffed.
“I’m a Paramedic, Erik. I work in EMS. I don’t work fire, and there are plenty of other females in our department in Denver.”
“Eagle River isn’t Denver. The district’s view here can, in some cases, be very different from the city.”
“So why couldn’t she apply to a city department instead?” Julia asked. “We could use a girl like her on EMS, it sounds like.”
I dropped my heels from the coffee table and sat up, turning to meet her gaze. Julia glared at me with lips pursed and a muscle in her jaw twitching.
“Because she wants to work fire,” I said firmly. “Anyway, I figured you’d be pleased. You’re a self-proclaimed feminist, aren’t you?”
“Well, yeah, but it seems silly to fight so hard to get into a department that doesn’t want you there.” Sneering, Julia shook her head. “You mentioned this girl months ago, but you haven’t ever since. I guess I assumed she’d failed the tests or something.”
“No, Jules, she passed with flying colors.” I rubbed my hand over my face as fatigue washed over me, unrelenting pressure of physical and emotional exhaustion. “Besides, there’s nothing we can do now. She deserves the spot.”
