No, fuck that. Anger burns in my stomach and pushes away the self-deprecating thought. We finally make it to the car and—with Mabel’s help—I hobble into the passenger seat of my brother’s car. “I’ll see you at home, help get you comfortable.” Mabel presses her forehead against mine. “You need to rest but I want you to know, everything will be okay.” I don’t believe her.
Nothing is going to be okay until I talk to Patrick and explain.
I wasn’t wrong in my complaints that we were at the hospital forever. It’s dark when Paul pulls as close as he can to the front of my house. “Don’t move.” Paul orders before jumping out of the car, coming to my side to help me out of the car and into my home.
I think Paul feels guilty, taking on what Loop did and me getting hurt as his fault. I want to squeeze his face and tell him the only one at fault here is Loop but I’m so sad and being sad is so tiring. “You can just drop me on the couch. I’m sure Mabel will be barging in any second and you need to get to Henry.” Paul stays silent as we awkwardly make our way to the couch. “The nurse said you need to elevate your foot to help reduce the swelling.” He’s already working to arrange all my throw pillows and urging me to lift my foot up. I roll my eyes but position my foot on the pillows, acutely aware of a throbbing starting in my ankle.
“Thank you. Do you want something to eat?” My stomach does a flip at the idea. “No, I just want to sleep.” My voice is watery, sounding as weak as I feel.
I want to see Patrick. I want to bleach my lips, scrubbing them until my skin is red and there are no lingering remains of Loop anywhere on my body.
FUCK!
Paul rushes back to the couch, sitting next to me. “Hey, you’re okay. I let Lola know you’re home and she’s going to bring Patrick over.” My heart—previously racing at the thought of Loop pressed against me—stutters. “He’s coming?” My voice breaks and I have to tamp down my hope.
What if she’s bringing him over so he can break up with me? There’s no way he’s okay with what he saw. Oh fuck, I need to see him but I don’t think I’ll survive if he tries to end it without letting me explain.
I love him and he’s going to leave me because of fucking Loop.
Chapter Sixty-Two
PATRICK
It’s taking so long to get any updates.
I almost throw up while Lola goes over the events of the afternoon. The only good thing is hearing Elle punched Loop in his stupid face. I hope she broke his nose. After Lola’s recap, we sit in silence for so long Jude grumbles about getting antsy before getting up from my couch and stomping into the kitchen.
I can hear him opening cabinets and pans banging around. “He cooks when he’s stressed.” Lola explains softly. I don’t really care what either of them do, I just want to get to Elle but they won’t let me leave and I want to pull my hair out.
After a thousand years, Lola gets a text alerting her that Elle is on her way home. “Let’s go, come on!” I jump up, rushing to put on my shoes but Lola hasn’t moved. Jude walks back into the room, three plates balanced in his arms. “Eat first.” I start to argue but Lola puts her hands up, standing in front of me. “Eat then we can go, that will give them time to get home and settled.” I want to protest but I know they’re right.
I acquiesce and sit on the edge of the couch, mumbling a thank you to Jude as he shoves a plate into my hands. It looks like a simple pasta and red sauce but it smells divine andmy stomach takes the opportunity to remind me I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast this morning.
We stay silent as we eat, the sounds of cutlery knocking against plates and occasionally Lola lets out a noise of approval. It is really good and I feel terrible for doing my best to eat it in as few bites as possible but my skin feels like fire ants are crawling over my whole body. I jump up after I swallow my last bite, speed walking to rinse off my plate.
Dishes can wait but I don’t hate myself enough to leave a crusty plate for future Patrick. Lola and Jude are still working on their plates—much to my understanding annoyance—and I don’t want to frustrate them by trying to rush so I go to my room.
It may be overly optimistic of me but I’m deciding to pack an overnight bag. If there’s even a chance that Elle can forgive me, there’s no way in hell I’m leaving her side for at least 36 hours. God, I hope she will try to forgive me.
“Patrick, we’re done.” Lola calls, I hear running water and the clanking of dishes. I appreciate that but as I speed-walk out of my room. “Perfect, great, can we go now, please?” I ask, babbling eagerly.
Jude claps me on the shoulder, opening the door with his other hand. “Let’s get you to your girl.” My chest puffs in pride, she is my girl.
Once we arrive, Lola gets out and asks me to wait just while she goes in and confirms Elle is okay with a visitor. Jude doesn’t stay for long, giving me a nod before exiting the car and making his way to the Bunkhouse, I’m assuming.
I can’t stay in the car. I feel like I’m suffocating.
Once I’m out of the car, I take in deep gulps of air. She’s so close and I still have to wait. God, I hope she will see me. I don’t think I’ll survive if she turns me away.
The door opens, light pouring out and framing Mabel in a halo. “Get your lover boy ass in here!” My heart skips, she wants to see me. I drop my duffle bag and run. I can’t get there quick enough.
Chapter Sixty-Three
ELLE
Mabel won’t leave me alone. She’s fussing about, reminding me of our mother. If my life didn’t feel like it was ending, I would poke fun at her. I finish off the grilled cheese that Mabel shoved into my face, demanding I eat it. I attempted to fight it but she threatened to call Mama if I refused.
Mabel takes my paper plate and is walking to the garbage when there’s a soft knock at my front door. I start to climb off the couch but Mabel catches the movement and stops me in my tracks, pointing a finger at me. “No! You aren’t allowed to move. I will get the door.” Mabel shuffles to the door, her finger never lowering.
