Chapter Eighteen
Dinner with Dad mayhave reminded me I wasn’t broken, but when I got home Sunday, I was too emotionally spent.Seth had texted to check in, but I didn’t answer.I couldn’t.Not after seeing Lindie, then dealing with Paxon.Not after trying to convince myself I was okay during dinner.
I’d gone to bed early just to shut off my brain.It didn’t work.
By the time Sunday arrived, the ache was still there.My chest remained tight in that familiar, unwelcome way.All of yesterday still clung to me and I didn’t have it in me to face anyone.Not today.
So I stayed home.Stayed in my room.In my sweats.The day slowly passed with me pretending to continue to exist and I was able to make it last until late evening.My phone buzzed against the couch cushion beside me.
There was a new notification on my screen:
New group chat created.
Name: “Emotional Support Gremlins”
My breath hitched.A new chat rather than the one we always used.My stomach dipped as I realized Paxon was missing from it.
Seeing his absence so officially from something that involved all of us hit harder than hearing it out loud ever could.It was one thing to know he’d pulled away, another to see the guys reshaping their space around that absence.Making room for me without forcing him.I knew they were just trying to be careful and mindful of Paxon and me, but it felt too much like a loss.
For a second, I just stared at the screen, thumb frozen, breath shallow as my brain tried to fix it, tried to make me believe the notification was wrong.Like his name would magically appear if I blinked hard enough.
But it didn’t.
Before I could process any of it, the chat name flickered.
It went fromEmotional Support GremlinstoChaos Goblins (Sans Paxon).
Without having to look, I knew that Toby had struck.In the chat itself, a notification popped up.Toby renamed the chat to Chaos Goblins (Sans Paxon).
A beat later, a message came through.
Justin:Toby, we said subtle.
Toby:SUBTLE IS A SOCIAL CONSTRUCT.
Bryan:Dude.What the fuck?
Toby:WHAT??Paxon’s not here.Cadence IS.We’re supporting her.Chaos Goblins mode activated.
I stared at the screen, a strange mix of grief and affection twisting together.They hadn’t tried to hide the divide, not really.Someone had tried to make it gentle, quiet, neutral.
