I was too numb.Too sad.Too scared.And I wouldn’t survive an afternoon of being in the same classes with Paxon.
Chapter Thirteen
Music was supposedto help.It usually did.
I sat at the piano, the soft lamplight turning the sheet music gold.My fingers moved automatically, chasing a melody I wasn’t sure I believed in anymore.The sound filled the room.Soft, steady, and safe.Every note was a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.
On the corner of my desk sat a pile of envelopes, and I knew within that was mail from at least one college.I wasn’t planning on opening it anytime soon.It was the same reason I’d been ignoring my personal email too and I stayed off the application portals.
I wasn’t ready to face what may be in my future.It had been closed to me for so long that not knowing was familiar.Felt safe for some reason.But now I was supposed to have all these options.
What was I supposed to do with options?
I played through the bridge, deciding it’d work.I needed to get the tone right though.Tender and restless.Hopeful but haunted.My lyrics sat scribbled in my notebook.
“You said someday we’d find our light again,
But the sun keeps changing sides.
Every truth feels half-forgotten now,
And I’m running out of skies to hide.”
It still didn’t feel right.The rhythm was off, maybe the phrasing too long.I muttered the lines under my breath, shifting the beat of each word until it felt like it landed properly.
“You said someday we’d find the light again...
But even dawn forgets to rise.”
I paused.That sounded sadder, but honest.
I scribbled down the change, then kept going, the words spilling quietly, raw and unpolished.
“I built a home in the echoes of laughter,
Painted walls in borrowed time.
