If I reach, will the silence catch me?
Or just let me fall behind?”
The melody came with it, slow and deliberate, a ghost of a heartbeat.I let my voice follow, almost a whisper.The notes cracked near the end, but I didn’t care.
The piano keys blurred as I leaned forward, resting my head against my hands.
“Come on, Cadence,” I muttered.“You’ve written through worse.”
But even as I said it, I wasn’t sure if that was true anymore.
My phone buzzed and I jumped.I glanced at the message from Seth.
Seth:Downstairs.Let this poor man in please.
I smiled and made my way downstairs, where I could hear him knocking.
I opened the door and he stepped through, holding a takeout bag, the smell of sesame oil and rice instantly grounding me.
“Hey,” I said, my voice a little hoarse from singing.“You know, normally people text that they’re coming over, not that they’re already here.”
“I know, but I wasn’t giving you the opportunity to tell me no.”
He wasn’t wrong, but now that I saw him, I was happy he was there.
He set the food down on the counter, looking around at the sad state of my kitchen.There were a couple of unwashed dishes, a glass cup of water, not much else.I didn’t have much here, considering how much I spent my time at Seth’s instead.
“Were you in your studio working on music?”
“Trying,” I said, leaning against the counter as he put our plates of food together.“It’s not cooperating.”
He leaned over and gave me a piece of maki.I ate it off his chopstick, chewing slowly.
“Come on.Eat before your brain short-circuits.”Seth didn’t push, didn’t ask about what was taking up space in my head.Just handed me a plate and led the way to the couch.
The smell of warm food wrapped around us.For the first time all day, my chest loosened as Seth simply took care of one of my most basic needs.What was going on with everyone and their obsession with making sure I was eating lately?
Halfway through, Seth spoke quietly.“You look tired.”
“I feel it.”
He nodded, understanding what I meant.I wasn’t tired from a long day or from physical exertion.I was justtired.
Finally, I whispered, “I’m scared.”
Seth’s eyes softened.“Of what?”
“Everything,” I said, the word catching in my throat.My voice became scratchy as I talked.“Of losing everyone.Of ruining what I’ve been given.Of all of it changing before I can even catch up.Despite all the shit that happened, I’ve had so much these last few months.So much more than I thought possible.And it still feels like I’m about to lose it at any second.Like one wrong move and poof.It’s all gone.”
Seth set his plate down and turned fully toward me.“You’re not going to lose us, Cadence.”
I shook my head, blinking back tears.“You can’t promise that.People leave.That’s what they do.”
He hesitated, then said quietly, “Not everyone does.And those who do, they sometimes come back.”
That grabbed my attention.
His voice lowered.“Look at your dad.He came back.Not perfectly, not all at once, but he did.And Janice...you thought she was gone for good, but she found her way back to you.And think about Lindie.You mentioned the news of her doing well.While she was never mother of the year, at least she’s returning as someone reminiscent of who she used to be rather than the danger she had been for so long.”He drew in a breath.“People don’t stay gone, Cadence.Sometimes they just need time to find the road home again.”
